Sometime in the last 9 hours my Blog has suffered a bout of the hiccups. What’s showing were my first pieces on this WP Blog. The rest of the last two years are there, but accessible only through the Category links.
Please bear with us in this strange time.
Our local TV station, WWL, has this series called “Wrinkle Free Friday”. Read it once long ago and just shrugged… this ain’t my cup of tea Darlin’s. Not going to open that link again.
Today I actually decided to read the feature again, and lo and behold, this is what came up.
I can’t take a side one way or the other on this topic. What is in our heart’s desires are our own… but for me it brought many things to fore that I had to deal with recently. So, with my rather bizarre penchant for telling almost anything to anyone, here goes.
Boys? You may leave the room now… (Okay… you can watch. Damn!)
You my Gentle Readers, know who and what I am, so I’ll pick the tale up from a few years ago. In August of ’04 (after 3 years as living as Morwen), my doctor gave me ‘scripts for hormones. It was time to make the next step in the Transformation of my life. By the time we bought our house and then were victims of the Federal Flood of New Orleans, not much had happened to my bustline (the mental state changes were fantastic!). Stress, no sleep, worry and only eating when I knew my system was tanking was preventing my body from developing along the lines it was made for. I had some growth, but it wasn’t in line with what many of my friends experienced. To say that I was upset would cover it if spread lightly.
I’d never desired augmentation. I see things as what shall be will be, until a year ago. Then I started thinking about doing the procedure in order to be somewhat normal for my age. To end what I saw as being “incomplete”. I wanted to jump from being a girl in early puberty to a state of that of a woman grown in a few hours. Call it taking a short-cut.
A few weeks ago I started to have second thoughts, doubting myself and the decision to utilize the short-cut. Then a very strange thing started: the closer we came to resolving the issue of our home, I started eating more. With that came a clearing in the way I saw my life. The “girls” started growing again. (still can’t sleep, but 3 out of 4 ain’t bad)
That’s when it hit me: if I took the short-cut, I’d be missing out on the wonder of growing up, maturing. The feelings that come as your body is changing in order to prepare for adulthood, the Future. To watch the process of life unfold within you, the wonder and joy that comes from experiencing the growth of a real life. Walking the Path to Becoming is something you cannot cheat upon, lest you lose the magic of it all.
I will no longer attempt to run down the Path to Becoming. This journey will be made step by step, facing things in their own time and place. ‘Tis complete folly to run and then pass the goal… winding up in a Wasteland from which I can never return. Life is too short to screw it up that way. Be patient, believe, trust and accept. That’s walking the Path of Life.
This crazy little tale is really about my breasts, but there is something much deeper to be found: my feet are back on the true Path again. Mind and heart had overwhelmed my Spirit for a time… the lesson has hit home: mind, heart and Spirit must always be in balance. To learn a thing you must grow within it, become it. Embrace the changes and flower as the Changes grow.
Only then does it really mean anything to you.
All of the above may sound like the wanderings of an adolescent, but I’m 51. Right now I’m the Maiden and the Crone at the same time (spent most of my life being the mom). That which I missed is being realized and Cronehood is coming to be. A life is moving towards fruition and wholeness.
Damn I love this trip!
Okay boys, ya’s can stop peeking through the curtains.Â
“Greater than scene…is situation. Greater than situation is implication. Greater than all of these is a single, entire human being, who will never be confined in any frame†Eudora Welty
I’m awake hours before my life shift, and something struck me:
Is the Chimp-in-Charge actually Aaron Burr in a reincarnation?
Let the shit fly kids.
“If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door” , Harvey Milk
On a warm, sunny day June day back in 1978, I attended my first Gay Pride Parade in San Francisco. I was amazed to be around so many free spirits living their lives openly. Twas a far cry from the hatred shown to these kinds of people (deep down I knew I belonged there) from life in Alabama and throughout my Naval career. That was the first time I ever saw Harvey Milk. A few months later I would have the chance to meet him, and I jumped on the offer. He was something else.
On Nov. 27th, 1978, the Castro District (one of the few LGBT areas of the city) learned that Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk had been assassinated at City Hall by Dan White, a recently resigned Supervisor. A candlelight vigil was held, along with a candlelight march that same night. I was there and it set the stage for an annual remembrance march and vigil for many years. (The NAMES Quilt had it’s genesis in one of these marches when Cleve Jones had all of us carry cards bearing the names of those who had died of AIDS.)
A few months later I was in S.F. on leave and White’s trial wrapped up with him being given a 7+ year sentence because of “diminished capacity”, aka the “Twinkie Defense”. Within hours many had gathered and we wound up in a major riot with SFPD in the Civic Center. Many police cars burned that night and then SFPD descended upon the Castro to create a riot of their own. How the Hell I didn’t get myself hurt or killed is a miracle. I went back to duty and would see S.F. again in ’83 when I was discharged from the Service.
I stayed there for almost 14 more years, and Milk’s words were the reason for that: I wanted to help our tribes continue to move the agenda forward and to help during the AIDS Crisis.
So with that little snippet of my history given, I am so moved to read that Sean Penn is playing Milk’s role in a new movie. When it hits the theatres, I will be there.
Thanks so much Harvey, so very much. You gave me the courage to become myself.
Sitting here in the hovel (aka dumpster, cave), contemplating the move to the real house and all the packing that must be done, and then I run across this:
I think I need a bigger carrier. Our catz are four times bigger than these kittehs.
The lines of battle have shifted.
They want no violence, so it’s a good thing I can’t make the event.
because he didn’t do it.
What about your doings in Irag you fucking Repug shithead?
Oh Goddess! The Diasphora from the Federal Flood of New Orleans is now growing roots elsewhere.
The Right Wing thinks they have destroyed our wonderful culture here, but the spores of our ways have now been distributed across the country. *giggles* It’s a wonderful thing to wake up to.
Hey AmeriKKKa! You are going to be “assimulated” by the “Other”.
Payback is a BITCH, ‘eh?
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