Gentilly Girl

January 5, 2010

So What I Am Is Evil?

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 8:24 pm

Just got some hate male from a little fuck that thinks people like me should be destroyed.

Y’all been trying that for 53 years, and all I can say is that I still hold the winning score. You cannot beat me.  I live the Life I was given, and though it’s been rough, I still live and breathe.

Why do you and yours’ hate me and mine? Is it because we have the capability to overcome adversity and have a real life? Or are you upset that we can create lives and be ourselves?

You want to threaten me, come face-to-face baby. Look on the face iof Hell and get ready to experience the Abyss. I”ve done it before and I’ll do it again. No one hurts my tribe.

I’m doing this and leaving you un-named. If you wish to hurt me you have to do it in person and not be un-named online.  Come and approach me in person, and you had better be armed.

I use ancient weapons, but I can still carve you up like a Thanksgiving turkey.

It’s your turn fuckmook… wanna face the Bitch From Hell? (or do you wish to face my partner?)

Why Do The Evangelicals Hate Us?

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 5:31 pm

I’m an Intersexed person- I have all the “boy & girl” parts. One could say that I’m an evolutionary advancement over “normal” people. I was born with the ability to be either Gender, but my brain was wired as Female.

I turned down Mensa and 4 Sigma because they just played mental games. On certain tests I show a 200+ IQ and the military rated me as the top 100th of 1 percentile of the Human Race. There are few topics I can’t discuss, like Pop Culture. I’m an engineer in many fields. I’m a Historian and a scholar on Cultural mythology and traditions. I have been half-way around the World twice and have lived with several Cultures. I’m a surfer, mountain climber & have sailed thousands of miles alone. The one thing I’m not good at is medicine.

BTW- I’ve never been to college… I taught myself because I wish to know things.

I’m taking this tack because many of my Trans friends are engineers. They work for Raytheon & Northrop… one works for Rolls-Royce designing new forms of engines. Many others have served this country in the military and have been very successful. We are “wired”, so to speak, to succeed.

We are the “Other”, but that’s no reason for the Evangelicals to hate us.

I happen to believe that they hate us because we are better. Maybe it’s biology or the fact that we have to struggle all of our lives being different… who knows. But we are different from them.

We have to learn about ourselves… to understand and accept what we have been given as a Life. We don’t need a book to teach us “how” to live. (Not a diss on Jesus… I hold Him highly in my Spirit as do I the Lady) We don’t have to be told how to live… we just do it.

Many of you don’t realize that most of us Trans folk never live over 30 years. It’s a hard World out there and freaks like the Evangelicals make it very hard on us. I’m going to be 53 soon, and enter my 26th year of HIV… and live as a Transgendered person. I’d like to see those “People of the Book” pull that off.  I’d like to see them walk a mile in my pumps. I’d like them to go through the Hell I’ve lived with since I was “assigned” back in ‘57. They should go throught the hatred and pain that has been directed at me and mine.

Most of them could never have made it. It takes Heart & Spirit , not the words of those who really have never lived Life.

It is about strength of will and love of being around good souls. To live a life I’ve been given. To accept what I am.

This is why I dislike the Bible-thumping crowd- they hate us. We are put down every day as “Ungodly creatures”. They are furious that Amanda was picked for the tech job for the Government. She, not one of “them”, was the best choice.

This is why I fight… the tribes I belong to are comprised of good and wonderful people. The only danger we present to the current paradigm is that we can create a kindlier, more gentle World. A World that doesn’t seek only differences, but understands that we really are just the same. A World that sees all Life as Sacred.

This what the Lady wishes me to do, and I will fulfill the mission.

December 18, 2009

Opening salvo for the Hostilidays

Filed under: Hostilidays — Morwen Madrigal @ 1:26 am

Baeur threatens Santa

December 1, 2009

It’s World AIDS Day

Filed under: LGBT — Morwen Madrigal @ 1:05 pm

I got pulled into this back in ‘83. I was forced to watch friends and co-workers die agonizing deaths. There was no way in Hell I could just idly watch the drama. I was with almost 200 boys as they drew their last breaths. Often I was the only one there. I cleaned their homes and cooked them food. Worked on the original AIDS Quilt so they would not be forgotten.

Some of those folks I didn’t agree with, but the right, the Human Thing, was to help in every way possible.

The World has blood on it’s hands. They stood on the sidelines as this disaster unfolded, mainly due to religious and Racial bias. The U.S. has played a huge part in that crime. This country could have moved faster to help those affected by HIV, but it didn’t because it was about “those people”.

In ‘92 I found out that I was one of “those people”. I had been raped in ‘84. That day the battle for those with HIV became personal. I’m now at my third trip to AIDSLand, and I will not die from it. I refuse to let the demon win, but that’s me and all that I believe in.

Many do not have my resources or strength. I have been to the Abyss more than a few times… I have no fear of dying. I have my love in Living . That keeps me going.

I have many issues that I feel strongly about, but this one is at the fore. It’s not about me; I have lived far more of Life than many will ever know. I fight because I can for those who can’t.

In ‘94 a dear friend, hours before he died, told me that I had to keep going. He had “Seen” that I had to keep going. Later that day I opened the “Doors” because I knew what was happening. He passed and all is well. He is in the Summer Country resting up for his next turn of the Wheel.

We must find a way to defeat this disease. Not for me (I can live with it) but for the ones to come. They should never know the pain and sorrow of this thing.

And to everyone, “Welcome to World AIDS Day”.

November 30, 2009

It’s almost time for “Doom in the Dome”.

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 8:07 pm
Who Dat!

"Who Dat!"

November 18, 2009

Third Annual RampART Festival!

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 1:51 pm

RampART Poster

Here’s great festival for this Saturday in New Orleans: RampArt Festival. Crafts, food, art, music and more. It’s being held in Armstrong Park (Rampart & Dumaine) from 11AM to 5PM. It’s also free.

North Rampart Main Street.Inc

November 16, 2009

And I Am To Vanish Into the Mists?

Filed under: LGBT, New Orleans, Trans-Feminist — Morwen Madrigal @ 3:16 am

back in time there was a child, a freak of nature, though that child never knew the truth. A child who walked to school, studied hard and one that fulfilled the wishes of it’s parents; to be the best that you can be and never forget where you came from. The child who held their Mom as she died very early and a Dad that lost it because his world had ended. The child who became a “Mom”. A child who did everything to please…who had a goal in mind; “Evey chance for everyone”. The child thought, “I leave no one behind”.

That child wound up being the Class Valedictorian as it worked full-time to keep it’s world and the family safe, rated by the Military and many colleges as a prime choice- 200+ IQ and being part of the one hundreth of one percentile of the entire population. “There is nothing you can’t do.” they said. “The World is your oyster”. And that child turned down their Dad’s second mortgage to finance that child’s college fees because the child was worried about their siblings’ chances to be able to further themselves. That child did not want preferential treatment. The child knew what it was directed to do, what the Inner Voice called for.

That child went into Nuclear Engineering in the Navy, loving the calculations and the whole process, but after 9 years left for something different. The child decided to deal with people instead of equations, since people were what the child wanted to be involved with. It’s what the child needed in it’s soul. Connections with others was what that child craved, needed, and desired.

Yes, the child is me.

I’m an Intersexed woman with a healthy dose of Aspergers Syndrome to boot. And all I have ever wanted was to tend my own garden and see folks living happy lives. Sadly, that was never to be my fate. I have seen too much.I must speak from my heart and speak for those like me.
And I must live by the words of the Lady.

And no, She will not lend her mind to their crap; My belief and trust is in people. “Such a waste”, said my in-laws… “You could make so much money”. My answer was about how does money asauge the pain others are going through, the drive for true equality, the knowledge that you have a part in all of this?

My answer was that it didn’t.I don’t agree with the “$$$=Success” model. My sisters and brothers need folks like me. Our city needs those like me.We are the Guardians. Not the Watchers, but those who defend. Not Warriors, but Healers.

Welcome to the new World. “I AM” is the most important statement one can make about their life. That’s the moment you “Become”.

And yes the World is my oyster and I will not vanish into the Mists.

November 10, 2009

What Being “OUT” Really Means-

Filed under: Aside — Morwen Madrigal @ 5:15 pm

9/21/01… that was the day I stared at my shotgun barrel and was thinking of pulling the trigger. Then a voice rang out in my home saying, “You have much more to do”.

I’ve written about this over the years, so I’m not going to repeat it all here

That day I “Outed” myself. Yes I had done many protests over the years for different issues, but that day I had to declare who I am and what I stood for, what I believed in.

When I say “Believe”, I mean you must own it to the very core of your soul. What you are and what you are not. How you see the World and what you think about things going down. You become a participant and no longer can be just a bystander.

That’s the day when you become Real. “Hey there! I’m fuckin’ alive and living here and I don’t like the shit going down”. That is the day you truly join the Dance, the time that you can begin to use the power that you were gifted from the One. It also means you are responsible for that which goes down around you, in your sphere, your neighborhood, your life.

Yes, it sux, but it’s gotta be done.

The truth is that to realize oneself, you must strive to help others to come to that same place in Life. You may not agree with them, but that’s their Journey, not yours. You facilitate their growth even when they oppose your being. You become a helper, and the wierd thing is that they wind up embracing you because you cared. (and who says Life isn’t interesting?)

This message is not about Trans, but about all of us. When WE CARE about each other, the World works pretty good. When there is no care we wind up with the crap-pile of a World we all currently face. Our care, tears, laughter and pains drive this World, not the corporations.

We are Power and it’s far past time to use it.

Become yourself and grab hold of Life. “OUT” yourself.

November 8, 2009

Saints are 8 and Eaux!

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 7:40 pm

Da Saints!

House Health Care Bill Passes… Joe Cao (R-New Orleans) Only GOPer to vote for It!

Filed under: Healthcare, New Orleans, Politicians — Morwen Madrigal @ 4:14 am

The House’s version passed (not perfect, but it’s a start) and the GOP Rep for Orleans and much of Jefferson was the only one of his party to vote for it. I applaud his courage and desire to find ways to help his constituents to obtain health care.

Now if I can just convince him to become an Independent… I don’t trust Dems very much, and from what I see of the playing feild down here for Demos for the seat, he might very well be my choice next year. (That’s right… I am now no longer a Demo. I will vote independently of both parties for the most Progressive person possible)

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