Gentilly Girl- a part of the 99%

September 5, 2011

On A More Rational Economic Philosophy

Filed under: American Culture,Economy,Socialist Progressive — Morwen Madrigal @ 9:55 pm

I am going to open this with what I believe is a more sane concept of what America is about, how our form of economics has moved us forward and what this means as what we are as a Nation… the promise that has been offered to the Modern World for many decades. It is a model that has worked and has changed cultures for the better.

First off, our Constitution states that our government is one by, for and of We The People. It’s stated purposes are to deal with trade, foreign relations with other countries, provide for the common defense and to maintain the General Welfare of the People who are equal stake holders in this Sacred enterprise. This means that each and everyone of us are a part of the equation that insures this county’s success.

It is said in the Environmental Movement that “All of Life is a chain, and when one link is harmed we all feel the pain”. This is perfectly clear to me. That so many cannot see this blows my mind. I have been employed in different occupations and I have worked at all levels of them. I have been a manager in most of them in the end. I know how these machines work: that which works and what cannot work.

It takes many different types of workers in order to take and idea and bring it to the market: laborers, artisans, mechanics, designers, packers and those who deliver the product to places where sales folks send them because customers desire the product because marketers did their job as directed by those people who serve as mangers. Many different levels and skills are involved, and each and every one are a necessity. Lose one link in that chain and the project fails.

I believe that payment for work must be based upon success of creating, producing, marketing and sales of a product. The end result as far as money goes should be reflected on the return of every level of labor involved. If there is a 25% increase in the Net it should result in compensation at all levels of the chain that made such profit a reality, not just given to top management as their increase in pay. It took the entire chain to bring such a profit to fruition.

That is fair in my mind.

Now when we look at current corporation manipulation of worth as their machinations of moving assets around just to increase a dollar total such fairness cannot exist. The top tiers will claim the boost because they are only manipulating the process. That doesn’t increase wealth. It only inflates numbers.

To me that is not why a business exists. Any business that uses such measures in order to please shareholders who only demand profit should be fined accordingly. It is not doing real business . It is fudging to use a nicer term. There should be no profit to the shareholder if that which they are invested in are not creating true wealth. It is a sham and an act of robbery upon each and every person working for said company.

The shareholders may scream, but they are the ones who ultimately choose the Boards that run these ventures and their responsibilty is to choose people who can create wealth and not just swipe capital from other sectors.

Remember we are all in this together as a country.

September 3, 2011

The Storm in My Soul

Filed under: Inter/Trans-Sexed,Our House — Morwen Madrigal @ 3:10 am

Tonight a tropical storm is coming in on the Looziana coast just like the storm that has been creeping into my dreams, hopes and soul for many days. The rains and winds are mounting outside just like the questions and doubts from my inner maelstrom: when this over, what is going to become of me? Where will I go and what will be my final end?

I have lived four lives. One was the one of a cherished child who loved learning and having experiences. A life that was run by questions about everything and a desire to learn all of the answers. In many ways it was a charmed life… there were no expectations for me outside of me becoming myself. It was a very wonderful period in this child’s life. I had dreams of doing things that would make things better for all folk. Ideals were my road posts.

Then life started changing when we all get to that certain age: we are no longer children and it is time for us to grow into what we were meant to become. That is when I first started feeling doubt, that insidious thing that enters one and can possibly consume one’s being. I didn’t like it and tried to figure what why this? Why can’t I be or feel like the others? What says that I have to be alone and in a form of exile? I hadn’t even been around long enough in order for me to commit a crime against my self that would result in that punishment. Who can determine that I do not have a place in this World?

For thirty years I had to live with that. I became a person who fit no mold and yet held all of them. A lithe androgyne with long flowing hair and silver jewelry who would walk anywhere and into almost anything being brave and in confidence and also knowing that the fear was real. I paid for taking the middle path: beatings, rape and the constant knowledge that someone like me could be seen only as a negligible side-show of Humanity. I still didn’t “know” me but I was proud of the way I tried to walk the Path.

Then there was an interrum, a nine year period when I attempted to be what I had always been commanded to be and yet could never accept. It really didn’t work. I learned of deep lies and duplicities, committed by both me and my spouse. I learned how to hurt people who cast an odd gaze in my direction. I understood how to hate… all because I stood on the wrong side of the equation.

The end of that existence came to a split second in Time when I realized that my life had been composed of three acts, and none of them were the true play. And at that moment I decided to pull the curtain down on the show a voice sounded: “You have too much to do!”.

That was The Epiphany: The Answer.

These last ten years have been lived as my trueself., with the constant hope of compassion, mindlfuless and kindliness to all who are, or seek to be , themselves. To aid people to be able to realize their Being became most important to me. I am no saint: I’m HUMAN. And yet I serve the goal.

The Goddess provided for me in the person who called herself Betty. We complimented each other and pushed each other. Both of us learned the fact that limits are just limits. And limits of Being are wrong.  So we lived our lives as ourselves and worked to help others find their own way.

We bought property that would become a thing that would continue for us through our days and after we had passed become a haven for people of our tribe: a safe house, learning center and meeting place. The Federal Flood of New Orleans all but destroyed the place. Over five years we got it to about 80% completion and then my Betty took ill and died after a horrible eight months. After her passing I fell down my own rabbit hole of health, despair and grief.

Tonight the storm rages. I am alone and yet have friends. I will never have another person like Betty… pairings such as that are too rare in Heaven or on Earth. There are three options I face: give up our dream, save it or vanish. Give up the dream has merits as does completeing it, but certain things need to fall in place for me to do either. I have taken care of these other things.

What I don’t have is an abundance of time to waste making either of those things happen. Something must come soon to give me that chance. I cannot remain in this rest home… with breathing space I can make either of the first options viable.  I will have the means. I need breathing space. I need flexibility. Betty was both my defender and my champion. Betty saw me as the one who followed the Lady and had to be protected. I no longer have her beside me. A major part of me was wounded with her and perished. It has taken time and thought to think of which Path shall be the better walked. As much as this hurts my pride, I need a Champion.

There are things I have and can do, and others have different skills

And I need to get out of the rest home, or I will not be able to walk any Path.

I need some help. Whether it is survival as a free soul or making the Center truth… anything beats non-existence. The Goddess says there is still much to do.

August 29, 2011

It Was Six Years Ago Today…

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 2:29 pm

and the floodwalls built by the Corpse of Engineers fucking fell down.

Seventy-five percent of New Orleans was under water.

Today I remember the pain and loss we all felt. I remember those who died then and those who died later from this experience. My heart aches for those who had to leave their beloved city.

I remain in New Orleans. The Flood took so much: Betts, memories. I must remain here because I won’t let the Reaper or idiots win. My passing shall be on my terms and the Lady shall oversee it all.

So on this day I salute all who have worked to rebuild our New Orleans, and who insanely stand for Her as the waters come. We belong to New Orleans, and Her Fate is ours. Without us She doesn’t exist and without Her we can’t be ourselves. Call it a symbiotic relationship.

We are the Faithful. We are New Orleanians.

August 6, 2011


Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 7:26 pm

Today marks nine years since Betty moved from Coral Springs, FL to New Orleans to live with me.

She called me in late July that year and told me to book a train or a bus to get to her to pack her up. Wound up with a bus and 22 hours travel time, but I got there. (Looked like hell) She stepped out of her car and hugged me. Took me to a late dinner and drove me to her house.

Seven days later I had packed the truck with her stuffs. She had just started to work from her home as a salesperson for her company and couldn’t help me. We drove straight through to New Orleans towing her old Buick. (I actually ate at a Cracker Barrel on the trip)

We arrived in a 116 degree heat index and moved everything into my home. It was a labor of love. My “Other half” was with me then. We had Po’Boys from Gene’s that night.

Betty is gone now, as are almost all of the things we had back then. The things were taken by the Federal Flood of ’05 and she died last Christmas… but the house and myself still survive.

I survive…

Today Betts, I remember the gift you gave me: you believed in me and trusted me. I wish you were still here, but that cannot be. I hold the fort for both of us.

I will continue to fight for, and help folks, just like what you wanted me to do, and I will never cease in my love for you.

I am here and you are in the Summer Country… in time I WILL be with you. ‘Til then I walk the path, do my work and yearn for you.

It is the only thing I can do.

Betty- I love you sweetheart, and I always will. And one day we will be hand-in-hand again. (And World? Look out when that comes to pass.)

July 17, 2011

My View Of Spirit- Redux

Filed under: Witch Stuff — Morwen Madrigal @ 6:51 pm

I wrote this piece last year when I was healing a broken hip and before my Betts got sick and died 8 months later. I shattered my body trying to keep going during it all and really did a number on it. The last 7 months have been spent in a rest home where I found that helping others was very potent medicine. Now I’m heading back into the real world and will continue living my way.

My View Of Spirit

(I have written extensively over the last many years. Sadly the Federal Flood and it’s ramifications caused me to lose all of those sites and all of the material stored there. I have been half of myself since then… it’s like writing a novel and losing it before you can type the final chapter. )

I have been asked many times about what I believe in. What makes me tick. How can I just walk into the middle of a crowd and let down my hair and speak of things most people would never reveal to others. Why do I feel that doing certain things are important, even if it could result in tons of pain. (and has done so)

It’s about what I “see”.

In the Beginning there was the One. It’s faceted like a jewel and the Light which comes from each facet has a different “frequency”. We are drawn, much like as moths to the flame, to the Light that resonates within us. (Atheists are included in this… I count on them to be a counter when I go too far)

I’m drawn to be a witch, a priestess of the oldest spiritual leanings of Humankind. I work within the realm of Earth, Water, Air and Fire. I can walk the Worlds and I must live by what I “See”. Much of my life is about magic: the changing of Reality in accordance with Will. The rest of that life is being thankful for each and every day and the people I run into.  I walk the Path and every step is a new experience. (not that all experiences are pleasurable)

I don’t ascribe to the rules of religions… I see them as money machines. The only currency that means anything to me is devotion and trust. What do you believe about “living”. How do you represent yourself day-to-day and how much you help another. This is that “something to believe in” that many folk seek.

It can, and will, consume you. One can become a hermit, but being holy on a mountain is not as effective as walking down the streets and interacting with others. (my girls back in S.F. convinced me of that years ago: I must remain in the Real World) It is not always easy. I cannot change a person’s mind. Situations can be altered, but the mindset is theirs.

All I can do is “BE”.

And maybe, just maybe, I can change hearts, mind and souls.

There are certain aspects of my workings: I can be Bride (the Mother), or I can become Arianrhod (the Changer) and also the Nataraja (the Dancer on the Abyss).  Mostly I am just Morwen who walks the days and just deals with the poop of Life.

And when it’s time for me to go, “And when I die, when I’m dead and gone… there will one more child to carry on”. Big or small, I will have made a change. I will pass to the Summer Country happily and the Goddess will tell me I did good. I will rest and get ready for the next trip on the Wheel.

Yes, I will be back.

July 16, 2011

Finally Going Back Home

Filed under: Uncategorized — Morwen Madrigal @ 10:24 pm

Yes I’m going home after leaving for medical care and a much needed rest. (Do you realize how far you pushed your body? <rolls eyes>) After 2010 my body and soul were almost running on fumes dealing with Betts’ illness and trying to hold the fort together.

The body has been healed up, especially some probs that have bothered me since the Federal Flood. My soul is strong but bruised by the loss of my sweetie. What holds all together is knowing that I’ll be with her again once I’ve finished walking my path here on this plane.

The house needs some work and I must start on the place in order to finish the damages from the Flood to the property. Folks wondered if I was going to leave New Orleans but I stood there staring at them: I will not leave this city. This is home. Too many of my friends wish for me to stay, and they had better party with me at times in order to prevent me retreating into the home and becoming a recluse. Definitely not a good thing.

So… it will be nice to be back in my own bed in two weeks. I’m taking my time on most things since nothing is worth killing myself over. (Now maybe something to kill over may come forth. We shall see.)

For all those who have sent good wishes during the time away, thank you. Be Blessed.

January 3, 2011

I’m so freweaking tifred

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 2:54 am

I haaven’t sleet for 7 months.

I a, so exshaausted/..

December 29, 2010

Memorial for Betts

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 7:07 pm
Betts’ Memorial: Mimi’s in the Marigny, Jan 5, 2011, 6PM. Secondline to 919 Spain St and back to Mimi’s. Please Paypal donations for the band to All donations appreciated. I’m posting here for all of Morwen and Betts’ out of town friends. Morwen, please pass this around to anyone you think needs the info. ?

December 26, 2010

My Betts dieed

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 9:52 pm

It was a week ago today. She spent 5 months in the hospital and they brought herhome 2 weeks agoand I cared for her here.

Friends are putting together the memorial since I am worn out and so tired.

I am alone now.

August 23, 2010

Rising Tide 5

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 7:42 pm

More info here.

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