Gentilly Girl- a part of the 99%

February 8, 2008

An Open Letter On Trans and Intersexed Issues

Filed under: LGBT,Trans-Feminist — Tags: , — Morwen Madrigal @ 8:49 pm

Dear Sir or Ma’am,

I writing this because I’m part of a community, and an activist for, those who are continually forgotten or legislated against in this country. This community is called Transgendered. Yes, those of us who have Gender Identities that don’t match our Birth records.

I’m doing this because I am one example of the most extreme versions of this community: I was born with all of the parts. I have ovaries, a uterus, a sewn-up vagina, and a man-made penis. My “role” in Life was determined by people that never asked me who I saw myself as. I didn’t get to state my preferences. I got “assigned”.

Now I’m living my life as I should have… as myself and female.
I’m also doing this because I believe the values that our Founders enshrined in our Constitution and the Bill of Rights. I believe each and every citizen of this Country is endowed with Rights to be who and what they are. There is no middle ground on this. These are our rights as Human Beings under our country’s Constitution and our Bill of Rights. This is the gift of the Founders to each and everyone of us. I respect their work greatly. It is why I can wake up everyday… and can know that I live in the greatest country on the planet.

To support my belief in this country and the reasons for our kind of Culture, I gave 9+ tears of my life to the Military. I’m am very skilled in Physics, Chemistry, Fluid Flow Dynamics, Geology, History and Anthropology. I became everything that was asked of us decades ago. We were asked to become the best and the brightest. I lived up to that, not just because I had interests, but because I believed in our Nation. My Homeland asked for this and I felt that I could not ignore the call.
Now, there are two Bills floating through Congress concerning citizens such as myself.

The bills are labeled as ENDA, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. One is H.R. 3685 (covering only the LGB folks), the other is H.R. 3686 which covers us Trans folks. Both of these bills deal only with employment issues. Originally both were covered under H.R. 2015, but certain interests didn’t want my kind in the bill.) Right now, institutionalized discrimination is a hurdle that these bills must pass, but the one that deals with Trans folks has the worst chance of passing.
More is needed: like housing issues, and safety in Public. You see, coming out as Gay or Lesbian involves only who you sleep with. There is no L, G or B on your I.D.s. Unless you announce it to the world, nobody really notices, but for a Trans person, we change our clothing, gender and our names. We must, by the criteria of the Benjamin Standards, live in our chosen gender for at least a year, and that means employment and housing discrimination. During what we call Transition we cannot hide. Every one can see what we are doing, and we get hurt.

That’s the danger for our folk: there are so many people out there that cannot accept our Realities. Religionists curse us, others just think we are freaks or child-molesters. Using the restroom in public can be a horrible adventure. Getting pulled over for a traffic infraction can make things even worse. Much of this boils down to intolerance of the “different”, or a lack of education concerning Biological realities. (More info on the biological situation and history, is here. I’m rewriting my site right now so this will have to suffice.)

Many of my sisters work in the biggest corporations in the country… some work for companies that are involved in National Security, many are engineers and others are in the financial markets. The bulk of us just work “normal” jobs. Our community is valued for it’s intelligence and tenacity. When one has to survive and become under the B/S Societal norms, you’ve got to be the best. (Many of our kind never make their 30th B’Day.)

I have been hurt because of being Trans in the Past, but that hasn’t been the case for several years. I am here in New Orleans, a very tolerant place, and my partner and I own our home. We have good friends, and no they aren’t all LGBT folks. We live up to my statement of years ago; “Prove who we are, and what we are not”. That has earned us respect.

To heal the wound of Gender Identity, we have had to become ourselves, and that means understanding what it means to be Human. Our little tribe is usually kind and thoughtful. We work our tushes off to just BE in the face of ignorance-based discrimination. It’s all that we can do.

In summary, what I’m asking you for is to come to an understanding of Trans folk, and maybe let your Congresspeople know that we do need protections against prejudice and hate. To speak out when some people condemn us. To not be afraid of us. “Only Humans cry… only Humans sing and laugh and bleed and dream”. That’s exactly what my tribe does.

We are not a threat, but we are being threatened. Please think about this. It’s the Human thing to do.

Be Blessed!

Morwen Madrigal,
The GentillyGirl

January 27, 2008

Take A Walk on the Wild Side…

Filed under: Event,LGBT,New Orleans — Tags: , , — Morwen Madrigal @ 8:52 am

and get a chance to spin me around the dance floor.

You are invited to
GREY GARDENS
The 19th Annual Radical Faerie Imperial Coronation & Costume Ball in
Honor of Saint Brigid
Fri. Feb. 1, 2008 8 pm
Saturn Bar, 3067 St. Claude Ave., New Orleans
$15 suggested donation

St. Brigid Invocation and Blessing with Sallie Ann Glassman
Music by Why Are We Building Such a Big Ship
Pageant directed by Dennis Monn and Calamity Fashion

DJ Buttercup, DJ Soul Sister and Yamamma’n’em

I don’t bite, well not too much, and I’ve had my shots. If you like the KdV parade, you’re going to love this Ball.

January 23, 2008

Why I Talk About These Things

Filed under: Aside,LGBT,Trans-Feminist — Tags: , — Morwen Madrigal @ 6:37 am
This is in answer to the Nightmare Returns.
Thanks everyone. This is the kind of poop many of us having running in background in our OS’s. It’s the kind of stuff we need to ferret out in order to become US. (Have no ferrets, but tons of catz, but they are useless in this query except for loving us as we are.)
Who stated: “Know thyself”? Oh yes… the Pythoness of Delphi. Socrates engraved it in stone, but it comes from the Old Mystery Tradition. “Know Thyself.”

(There is more to this, but I will only do it privately… not meant for the great unwashed.)

Interesting the connections and scenarios most of us can conjure up looking at that statement. How many of us cannot understand ourselves and why we do what we do?

So horrible, but how many of us can walk those final steps to the Abyss to be able to finally understand that phrase? I do know… been there, done that, but now I understand the voices.

The voices didn’t promise anything except to pull me from the brink, just as what I’m experiencing now. Been there and done that poop.

We have the power to become Transformative agents. Many of us see the dicotomies of culture and philosophy. We “see” the New World. We crave it, in fact.

It’s the freakin’ damn goal of being Human.

As much as I’d like to see a World with a majority of folks like me, endocrine disruptive chemicals and estrogens in the environment can and will make us the inheritors of the New World. Look at the sea-life based studies.

I don’t wish to be the majority. I wish to be considered Human, with a twist. I don’t wish to see children more conflicted as me.

Yes, I’m more than most, female and male, and a mentality that can encompass it all, but what I really wish for is children that do not have to fight my battles of the Past.

Maybe we have reached the tipping point on this shit. Maybe I’m too late. If I am too late, treat them kindly and accept what the Future many bring. I’m just the first of many.

Years ago I wrote about the possibilities of our chemical pollution of our planet. No one seemed to care, but the agents I referred to are still active, and they will continue to do their thing.

I can never change my chemical/biological/genetic past. I didn’t do it… it just happened. Though I can speak about the wonders, the epiphanies of being Intersexed/Trans I can’t wish my life upon any child. I’m not a fool… it’s a hard life to live

Yes I fight for my kind, but I pray for the day this doesn’t need to be: whether we are Trans or not, or there is no Trans really. Get me.

Now I’m back in the fray fighting for my sisters and brothers. I stand in a “Place” that has no judgement upon what I am, only who I am. I am myself.

I spent my life trying to live up to a dictum: “Prove who we are, and what we are not”.

One thing I have learned over the years: I am what I am, and fuck those who will refute that. I AM a woman, and fuck anyone who disputes that fact.

I take care of the folks around me. I hold them in my arms and thoughts. I am kind to others. I CARE.

I’m a woman, and that’s what women do: we take care of folks. We are what we are. This is biological destiny.

Anyone who wants to prove my words different, you come face-to-face with me, and we will hash it out.

January 18, 2008

The Nightmare Returns

Filed under: Aside,LGBT,Trans-Feminist — Tags: , , — Morwen Madrigal @ 7:22 pm

Most of us have had bad things happen in our lives. I’ve seen bodies shattered by disease, corpses with their brains blown out… homeless people frozen to death in front of heated buildings. I seem to be able to deal with those things intellectually and emotionally, but I am powerless when facing my own demons.

Usually I can keep them in the background… hidden, leashed, but the other night they escaped my control, and I scared the Hell out of very good friend. Thank goodness Betts was there to drag me to the car and get me home. I’ve been a basket case since then, but I finally got the clue that I had been searching for: the “Dark Lord”.

That’s what the man who raped me for 8 hours 24 years ago called himself. He slipped me a mickey whilst we were watching a movie, and I woke up to being chained to eyebolts in a floor and laying on a filthy mattress. During all that time, outside of the pain he delivered, I was constantly wondering when and how he would kill me. Would my body be found in a dumpster or China Basin?

He let me go in the late morning. Congratulated me for entering the Gay lifestyle. All I could think of was that I’m not Gay. “Power over another”. I remained holed up in my apartment for a week crying, and then got the courage up to go back out into the World and try to live. (My rapist died four years later of AIDS, and though I visited and helped many of the boys who were dying of the same disease, I never entered his room. I couldn’t find it within me to show any form of kindness to him.) The power of forgiveness wasn’t coming through my soul.

I thought that I had dealt with this shit years ago, but I didn’t realize that this was riding piggy-back on the events of 50 years past. Genital mutilation, negation of beingness, all in the name of societal norms. I can still see them coming for me, to lay me on a cold stainless steel table and then they start carving my body apart so that I would fit their visions of normalcy. I couldn’t speak… had no power. All I could do is lay there and take the injustice that they did to my body.

The rape was a violation of my body, but this earlier event was a violation of my very being. Right now I’m feeling the physical and emotional pain of the first year of Life. Somehow I’ll get through this. Finally I’m not letting intellect to deal with this. I’m using my heart, and it really hurts.

I have many friends around the world that are victims of these treatments. I’ve watched them struggle with the same memories and then become themselves. I guess it’s my turn to face the demon and slay it. This isn’t going to be easy, but it must be done. The nightmare cannot eat my soul.

I refuse to live under the dictates of others. I will not let the bastards win. This is MY LIFE. My friends, my world. I see a Sun shining on the flowers in my garden, and I will again be the blythe spirit that I entered this incarnation as. My World will be filled with Light, Life and Love. Friends are around… there’s so much to do and learn.

This coming March I won’t be 51… it’s MY first B’Day. I’m reclaiming my life.

Brothers and sisters, “the Sleeper has awoken”. It’s a new day.

January 3, 2008

Fifty Years ago…

Filed under: Aside,LGBT — Tags: , — Morwen Madrigal @ 5:02 pm

They made decisions and carved me apart. I was 6 to 9 months old. I laid on an operating table… I was scared to death. I was just a baby.

Then they flipped a freakin’ coin. I, who was born with all the girl and boys parts was to be a male. My vagina was sewn up. They took skin off my thigh in order to create an urethra. All my life I have hurt… been confused, and I wanted to be tortured. I spent 13 years with nightmares every night. (Mom and Dad would come when I woke up screaming.)

Thank the Goddess that the Interesexed Socieiy has convinced  the doctors to give us years in which to identify as to which gender we belong. Then we can be treated properly, as befits our choices. We finally have our voice.
I never had that. I thought I was a Transsexual. I made my decision to Transition, but after the Flood, I learned the truth from my Aunt. It has been one of the fucking god-damned realities in my life. Someone else made a decision for me… I was “assigned”. It wasn’t how I saw myself.
I’m writing this, telling you this because I’m one out of a thousand children. The fuck-up of our current culture makes folks like me more common. We have contaminated this world with chemicals. None of you have any idea how many of our kind are coming in the Future. And you know what? We didn’t ask for this shit.  Our lives are affected, and we suffer.

I’m not making a pity party here, I’m just stating the reality of some people’s lives. It took me 45 years to look at the truth. It took a shotgun in front of my face to get me to see the reality. The Goddess and my girlfriends saved me. They saved me and I made a promise: Battle or war, I will be there. I will fucking fight. I am the phouka’s own welp.

All of this is coming about because I’m going through it. I’m feeling the surgeries. I’m feeling embarressed. It’s taking everything I have to get through this crap.

I’m smart, and I am better than this.

January 1, 2008

The New Year

Filed under: Aside,LGBT,New Orleans,Trans-Feminist — Tags: , , , — Morwen Madrigal @ 2:43 pm

The New Year, 2008… The pork loin is cooking, the black-eyed peas are done, the cabbage will be done later.

Our return to the house is three weeks away. I’m trying to figure out how we move back into our home.

I’m tired. Just got over a cold. I have no energy. Cooking New Year’s dinner right now. Have friends coming over.

I’m tired.

And I have a battle to fight for my community… this year will see our fight for our rights as Trans folk. It is time for us to get our protections and our rights. I have my rights, my life, but my sisters need their safe places too.

Now this is the battle for 2008. And I’m tired, but I can’t stand away from the fray. I have New Orleans to fight for and I have my brothers and sisters to protect.This may mean going to D.C. I’m not up for this. I need back-up.

So this is my New Year…  and I’m tired.

November 29, 2007

Transsexual CAN Sue the Library of Congress

Filed under: Family Values,Inter/Trans-Sexed,LGBT,Trans-Feminist — Tags: , , , — Morwen Madrigal @ 7:04 pm

Back in the Summer of ’05, prior to the Federal Flooding of New Orleans, I was raging on the Trans E-Lists concerning the Library of Congress’ B/S treatment of Diane Schroer when it came to an offered, and accepted, job.

She sued.

The Library of Congress contended that she wasn’t protected under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, and a Federal judge just ruled that Schroer’s suit can go forward because the actions of the Library of Congress amounts to sex discrimination under Title VII. Once again Title VII covers Trans individuals by decree of the Courts.

When will people stop trying to hurt us?

The decision we have to make in our lives as Trans is to accept the bio-chem nature of our Reality and go with it. It can take years and a great amount of personal pain and personal loss. Often times we are destroyed because of all of the Societal poop that surrounds the perceptions of our lives.

This case is another that can equal the playing field for my brothers and sisters that are discriminated against each and every day. (Especially from that sub-Human group known as the Jezoids.)

November 19, 2007

Self-Deluded Minister Wants to Take Over Microsoft

Filed under: Family Values,Fools,LGBT,Religious Reich,Theocracy — Tags: , , , , — Morwen Madrigal @ 1:24 pm

The Right Reverend Ken Hutcherson, formerly of the Dallas Cowboys, has decided that Microsoft’s defiance of his edict to exit the Culture Wars by eliminating their diversity program that allows partnership benefits for Lesbians and Gays. (This battle has been going on for over two years.)

“I consider myself a warrior for Christ. Microsoft don’t scare me. I got God with me.”

“I told them that you need to work with me or we will put a firestorm on you like you have never seen in you life because I am your worst nightmare. I am a black man with a righteous cause with a whole host of powerful white people behind me.”

“Microsoft stepped out of their four walls into my world so that gives me the right to step out of my world into their world,”

Kennie Boy, it’s ALL of our worlds existing within one big polyglot country, and I take umbrage that you think it’s your right to fuck with other people’s lives just cause your “playbook” doesn’t agree with them. What’s next? Taking over the country? Oh yes, your kind has already tried that and failed.

It’s time for you to STFU!

November 16, 2007

2007 Trans Day Of Rememberance

Filed under: Inter/Trans-Sexed,LGBT,New Orleans — Tags: , , — Morwen Madrigal @ 4:01 pm

This Sunday, November 18th 6 PM.

We will meet at the LGCCNO (Decatur at Frenchmen) and then hold our candlelight march to the Statue of St. Joan for the reading of the names of our brothers and sisters killed during the year for living their lives.

Afterwards there will be refreshments and conversation at the community center.

October 25, 2007

Blaming the Trannies…

Filed under: LGBT,Trans-Feminist — Tags: , — Morwen Madrigal @ 12:50 am

Hie thee to Creative Loafing for the latest on the ENDA debacle.

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