It’s been a long time coming-
February 19, 2010
February 9, 2010
It Sux When One Is Surrounded By Wonders and You are Cursed
Sunday the 31st Betts and I went to the skating rink. Had our new skates that were meant for action and finesse… was going to be fun. Turned out that the rink was way too slick for my wheels, so I just sat and watched Betts do her thing. He was having fun and getting her old skills back. It was also Family Night, and since I hadn’t skated for 40 years I didn’t want to risk getting whiped out by kids zooming around whilst getting used to breaking in professional skates. (I was expecting a wooden rink, not a polished paint slab type).
We were about to leave some I headed to the ladies room hittting apiece of pizza lating in some til.Up in the air I went landing on my left hip. Blinding pain ensued and I couldn’t stand up. Leg was fine but it was if there was no support for my body. I was wheelchaired to the car and we headed back to New Orleans and home.
Halfway across the River I told Betts to take me to Tulane’s ER. I had a bad feeling that something major was wrong. Two hours later the verdict was I: I had two breaks in my hip bone. Surgery went down in the morning .A plate and three screws were holding it all together just below the part of the femur that fits into the pelvic socket. They said all looked good and they helped me go back to sleep.
Sometime afterward they changed my medications, ones that I had told them my my body reacted badly to. When I woke up treatment continued, but the chages weren’t told to me. My body started going hatwire and my mind turned into mush. I looked healthy when I entered the place but was turning into a zombie. That’ when Betts stepped in and forced them to change the meds back to what was originally agreed upon. Two days later I started to get back to normal. What should have been a three day stay turned into an eight day Hell.
I missed the Mayoral elections, Missed the build-up to the Super Bowl, but did come around enough to what our Saints win the game. The next day Betts got me out of there when we learned they were thinking of shipping me to Houston for Rehab. In those last two days I learned to use a walker properly allby myself. Figured out how to do Life things differently in order to function. I got home last night tired, but relieved..
I missed all the fun and joy of what turned out to be three of the best days our city has had since the Flood just because someone over-rode my knowledge of my body and my history of medication use. I know things happened, but I was outside looking in. Physically I couldn’t have been a part of the fun, but I was also prevented from emotionally enjoying any of it. The former is understandable, the latter is unforgivable.
The body will heal in time. My mind will slowly come out of the fog s. The denial of the joy of it all will never heal.
January 5, 2010
So What I Am Is Evil?
Just got some hate male from a little fuck that thinks people like me should be destroyed.
Y’all been trying that for 53 years, and all I can say is that I still hold the winning score. You cannot beat me. I live the Life I was given, and though it’s been rough, I still live and breathe.
Why do you and yours’ hate me and mine? Is it because we have the capability to overcome adversity and have a real life? Or are you upset that we can create lives and be ourselves?
You want to threaten me, come face-to-face baby. Look on the face iof Hell and get ready to experience the Abyss. I”ve done it before and I’ll do it again. No one hurts my tribe.
I’m doing this and leaving you un-named. If you wish to hurt me you have to do it in person and not be un-named online. Come and approach me in person, and you had better be armed.
I use ancient weapons, but I can still carve you up like a Thanksgiving turkey.
It’s your turn fuckmook… wanna face the Bitch From Hell? (or do you wish to face my partner?)
Why Do The Evangelicals Hate Us?
I’m an Intersexed person- I have all the “boy & girl” parts. One could say that I’m an evolutionary advancement over “normal” people. I was born with the ability to be either Gender, but my brain was wired as Female.
I turned down Mensa and 4 Sigma because they just played mental games. On certain tests I show a 200+ IQ and the military rated me as the top 100th of 1 percentile of the Human Race. There are few topics I can’t discuss, like Pop Culture. I’m an engineer in many fields. I’m a Historian and a scholar on Cultural mythology and traditions. I have been half-way around the World twice and have lived with several Cultures. I’m a surfer, mountain climber & have sailed thousands of miles alone. The one thing I’m not good at is medicine.
BTW- I’ve never been to college… I taught myself because I wish to know things.
I’m taking this tack because many of my Trans friends are engineers. They work for Raytheon & Northrop… one works for Rolls-Royce designing new forms of engines. Many others have served this country in the military and have been very successful. We are “wired”, so to speak, to succeed.
We are the “Other”, but that’s no reason for the Evangelicals to hate us.
I happen to believe that they hate us because we are better. Maybe it’s biology or the fact that we have to struggle all of our lives being different… who knows. But we are different from them.
We have to learn about ourselves… to understand and accept what we have been given as a Life. We don’t need a book to teach us “how” to live. (Not a diss on Jesus… I hold Him highly in my Spirit as do I the Lady) We don’t have to be told how to live… we just do it.
Many of you don’t realize that most of us Trans folk never live over 30 years. It’s a hard World out there and freaks like the Evangelicals make it very hard on us. I’m going to be 53 soon, and enter my 26th year of HIV… and live as a Transgendered person. I’d like to see those “People of the Book” pull that off. I’d like to see them walk a mile in my pumps. I’d like them to go through the Hell I’ve lived with since I was “assigned” back in ’57. They should go throught the hatred and pain that has been directed at me and mine.
Most of them could never have made it. It takes Heart & Spirit , not the words of those who really have never lived Life.
It is about strength of will and love of being around good souls. To live a life I’ve been given. To accept what I am.
This is why I dislike the Bible-thumping crowd- they hate us. We are put down every day as “Ungodly creatures”. They are furious that Amanda was picked for the tech job for the Government. She, not one of “them”, was the best choice.
This is why I fight… the tribes I belong to are comprised of good and wonderful people. The only danger we present to the current paradigm is that we can create a kindlier, more gentle World. A World that doesn’t seek only differences, but understands that we really are just the same. A World that sees all Life as Sacred.
This what the Lady wishes me to do, and I will fulfill the mission.
November 30, 2009
November 18, 2009
Third Annual RampART Festival!
Here’s great festival for this Saturday in New Orleans: RampArt Festival. Crafts, food, art, music and more. It’s being held in Armstrong Park (Rampart & Dumaine) from 11AM to 5PM. It’s also free.
November 16, 2009
And I Am To Vanish Into the Mists?
back in time there was a child, a freak of nature, though that child never knew the truth. A child who walked to school, studied hard and one that fulfilled the wishes of it’s parents; to be the best that you can be and never forget where you came from. The child who held their Mom as she died very early and a Dad that lost it because his world had ended. The child who became a “Mom”. A child who did everything to please…who had a goal in mind; “Evey chance for everyone”. The child thought, “I leave no one behind”.
That child wound up being the Class Valedictorian as it worked full-time to keep it’s world and the family safe, rated by the Military and many colleges as a prime choice- 200+ IQ and being part of the one hundreth of one percentile of the entire population. “There is nothing you can’t do.” they said. “The World is your oyster”. And that child turned down their Dad’s second mortgage to finance that child’s college fees because the child was worried about their siblings’ chances to be able to further themselves. That child did not want preferential treatment. The child knew what it was directed to do, what the Inner Voice called for.
That child went into Nuclear Engineering in the Navy, loving the calculations and the whole process, but after 9 years left for something different. The child decided to deal with people instead of equations, since people were what the child wanted to be involved with. It’s what the child needed in it’s soul. Connections with others was what that child craved, needed, and desired.
Yes, the child is me.
I’m an Intersexed woman with a healthy dose of Aspergers Syndrome to boot. And all I have ever wanted was to tend my own garden and see folks living happy lives. Sadly, that was never to be my fate. I have seen too much.I must speak from my heart and speak for those like me.
And I must live by the words of the Lady.
And no, She will not lend her mind to their crap; My belief and trust is in people. “Such a waste”, said my in-laws… “You could make so much money”. My answer was about how does money asauge the pain others are going through, the drive for true equality, the knowledge that you have a part in all of this?
My answer was that it didn’t.I don’t agree with the “$$$=Success” model. My sisters and brothers need folks like me. Our city needs those like me.We are the Guardians. Not the Watchers, but those who defend. Not Warriors, but Healers.
Welcome to the new World. “I AM” is the most important statement one can make about their life. That’s the moment you “Become”.
And yes the World is my oyster and I will not vanish into the Mists.
November 8, 2009
House Health Care Bill Passes… Joe Cao (R-New Orleans) Only GOPer to vote for It!
The House’s version passed (not perfect, but it’s a start) and the GOP Rep for Orleans and much of Jefferson was the only one of his party to vote for it. I applaud his courage and desire to find ways to help his constituents to obtain health care.
Now if I can just convince him to become an Independent… I don’t trust Dems very much, and from what I see of the playing feild down here for Demos for the seat, he might very well be my choice next year. (That’s right… I am now no longer a Demo. I will vote independently of both parties for the most Progressive person possible)
November 6, 2009
Life Is Good
There’s gotta be some quakin’ and shakin’ at City Hall today.
How much longer will Ray Nagin be Mayor?