I’m currently reading “Whipping Girl”, A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity, by Julia Serano.
Most of what she advocates I’ve already been actualizing in my life, but now there are political changes coming from what she is teaching me, and what New Orleans is teaching me. I am seeing an expansion within myself… a step larger than my decision to undo the curse that the doctors placed me under 50 years ago.
The end result is an Epiphany from Hades. And it ain’t done downloading into my Spirit. This sucker is coming in it’s own time, and all I can do is absorb each and every fragment of it. It’s something that I have searched for over the decades and tens of thousands of miles. In a way, I think I always realized that the answer could only be found here in New Orleans.
Maybe that’s one reason I didn’t die when the doctors said I was a gonner back in the ’90s. Maybe their strange looks at my charts actually represent something: I won’t die, not until I have found myself, and even then, I will be able to dance the Dance of Life for many years. That could only happen here in New Orleans. (Been in pain all day, but that will pass…)
I’m surrounded by wonderful folks with great hearts. I have a fantastic life-mate. (I have too many catz.) I live a life I couldn’t even considered 30 years ago. Even though the post-Flood world is shit here, it’s still better than any other place.
It all boils down to being here, in this Sacred place, under the protection of the Goddess and Her defenders. Here… a place that allows, nay… demands, that you be true to your soul. Here we dance the Dance of Life… we celebrate the fact of living and dying. Here we are whole.
I can’t really explain why I’m writing this, unless it’s just that the praises of this place must be noted, or maybe I just need to give thanks to the wonderful people of this city.
I raise my wine glass to New Orleans. You helped save me. Now it’s my turn.
May the Goddess always protect and nourish you. So mote it be.
I like this……this is the facet of Morwen that I connect with.
I hope you’re feeling better, sweetie.
Comment by charlotte — July 1, 2007 @ 6:55 pm
Thanks hon… I’m vacillating between PTSD and discovery. Discovery can produce many psyche changes, but PTSD only digs the hole deeper.
The physical stuff is cyclical… I’m starting to wonder if I’m not undergoing what some of my girlfriends are living with after starting hormones. I do have the ovaries and the uterus… what is going on inside of me that the Docs don’t see? It’s not a normal field for docs to study.
All I plan to do is keep walking the Path and take what comes… hopes or Reality, it doesn’t matter… it’s my Journey.
Once the house is fixed and we are back home, I’m heading for Houston in the hopes that the VA will perform the tests and do some repair work they must do. The pain is becoming way too intense and debilitating, and this girl will not allow that. There’s too much to do here for that poop to get in the way.
I just want to enjoy being with my friends, in our beloved city, and to dance with all of you. To share with friends, to suffer with friends, and to dream with them. (It’s just that sometimes I feel freakin’ screwed, and that really hurts.)
Be Blessed dear, and don’t worry… the Mother shall provide. She’ll take care of me, and all of you.
Comment by Morwen Madrigal — July 2, 2007 @ 1:02 am
Much love and many blessings to you, too, Morwen!
Comment by LisaPal — July 2, 2007 @ 1:32 am