They made decisions and carved me apart. I was 6 to 9 months old. I laid on an operating table… I was scared to death. I was just a baby.
Then they flipped a freakin’ coin. I, who was born with all the girl and boys parts was to be a male. My vagina was sewn up. They took skin off my thigh in order to create an urethra. All my life I have hurt… been confused, and I wanted to be tortured. I spent 13 years with nightmares every night. (Mom and Dad would come when I woke up screaming.)
Thank the Goddess that the Interesexed Socieiy has convinced the doctors to give us years in which to identify as to which gender we belong. Then we can be treated properly, as befits our choices. We finally have our voice.
I never had that. I thought I was a Transsexual. I made my decision to Transition, but after the Flood, I learned the truth from my Aunt. It has been one of the fucking god-damned realities in my life. Someone else made a decision for me… I was “assigned”. It wasn’t how I saw myself.
I’m writing this, telling you this because I’m one out of a thousand children. The fuck-up of our current culture makes folks like me more common. We have contaminated this world with chemicals. None of you have any idea how many of our kind are coming in the Future. And you know what? We didn’t ask for this shit. Our lives are affected, and we suffer.
I’m not making a pity party here, I’m just stating the reality of some people’s lives. It took me 45 years to look at the truth. It took a shotgun in front of my face to get me to see the reality. The Goddess and my girlfriends saved me. They saved me and I made a promise: Battle or war, I will be there. I will fucking fight. I am the phouka’s own welp.
All of this is coming about because I’m going through it. I’m feeling the surgeries. I’m feeling embarressed. It’s taking everything I have to get through this crap.
I’m smart, and I am better than this.
Unfortunately I understand that kind of thing used to happen a lot. You seem to be saying they’re not so hasty with the scalpel these days. I hadn’t heard that but I hope you’re right. Thanks for sharing and good luck!
Comment by Editor B — January 4, 2008 @ 1:06 pm
Thanks B.
Policies started to change in the ’80s. I have read many stories over the years of children that got the chance to just be themselves. It’s a wonderful thing.
What worries me is the Future. Endocrine disruption in Utero is not rare, and we are poisoning our environment with chemicals that mimic hormones. These can cause many problems with a developing child.
Comment by Morwen Madrigal — January 4, 2008 @ 1:28 pm