Gentilly Girl- a part of the 99%

May 9, 2010

My View of Spirit

Filed under: Aside — Morwen Madrigal @ 7:43 pm

(I have written extensively over the last many years. Sadly the Federal Flood and it’s ramifications caused me to lose all of those sites and all of the material stored there. I have been half of myself since then… it’s like writing a novel and losing it before you can type the final chapter. )

I have been asked many times about what I believe in. What makes me tick. How can I just walk into the middle of a crowd and let down my hair and speak of things most people would never reveal to others. Why do I feel that doing certain things are important, even if it could result in tons of pain. (and has done so)

It’s about what I “see”.

In the Beginning there was the One. It’s faceted like a jewel and the Light which comes from each facet has a different “frequency”. We are drawn, much like as moths to the flame, to the Light that resonates within us. (Atheists are included in this… I count on them to be a counter when I go too far)

I’m drawn to be a witch, a priestess of the oldest spiritual leanings of Humankind. I work within the realm of Earth, Water, Air and Fire. I can walk the Worlds and I must live by what I “See”. Much of my life is about magic: the changing of Reality in accordance with Will. The rest of that life is being thankful for each and every day and the people I run into.  I walk the Path and every step is a new experience. (not that all experiences are pleasurable)

I don’t ascribe to the rules of religions… I see them as money machines. The only currency that means anything to me is devotion and trust. What do you believe about “living”. How do you represent yourself day-to-day and how much you help another. This is that “something to believe in” that many folk seek.

It can, and will, consume you. One can become a hermit, but being holy on a mountain is not as effective as walking down the streets and interacting with others. (my girls back in S.F. convinced me of that years ago: I must remain in the Real World) It is not always easy. I cannot change a person’s mind. Situations can be altered, but the mindset is theirs.

All I can do is “BE”.

And maybe, just maybe, I can change hearts, mind and souls.

There are certain aspects of my workings: I can be Bride (the Mother), or I can become Arianrhod (the Changer) and also the Nataraja (the Dancer on the Abyss).  Mostly I am just Morwen who walks the days and just deals with the poop of Life.

And when it’s time for me to go, “And when I die, when I’m dead and gone… there will one more child to carry on”). Big or small, I will have made a change. I will pass to the Summer Country happily and the Goddess will tell me I did good. I will rest and get ready for the next trip on the Wheel.

Yes, I will be back.

May 8, 2010

Why I Can Never Be a Denizen of That Place Called Wingnuttia

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 6:27 am

I was just rereading  a post I did almost a month ago that went viral on the Right-wing Blogs. I was called a hateful person by these worthless pieces of flesh.

The only hateful things in the piece were about how I, and a blind man, were treated by grossly obese Repugs when it came to trying to walk pass them. In fact, I was very mellow considering past posts. (and I was angry about  boys spraying an area with bullets. but I think that was okay)

No, the problem lies with the mindset of those who live in Wingnuttia: They don’t give a shit about anything but themselves. The “other” upsets them… so what fuckmooks, I don’t like your kind either. I find you to be self-absorbed, unmindful of the facts and very much un-evolved. The World is growing, evolving and all you wish to do is stop this beneficial growth.

Sorry Bubbas, your world is coming to it’s logical end. The rest of us do not need (as if we really needed your cave-man/crayon mentality) anymore. You are dinosaurs (hey! Your religious mook leaders say that you rode dinos in the Past… yep, you belong in the series the Flintstones.) Sorry babies… real life is not the Flintstones.

Real life is the norm and it requires real people to live in it. Real people that can understand the travails and the pain associated with change. (and Darlin’s, there is a massive amount of change going down) Your kind, the self-registered Conservatives who desire that Life “stands still” can’t deal with that. Ain’t gonna happen children… Life goes on. Life is a dynamic that cannot be stopped.

You wingnuts want to push down women (maybe because you are not up to the task of ensuring survival), you attack those who have found a way to have  happiness that violates your Patriarchal views. You fight to hurt that which does not fit your Worldview, and yet does not harm you. You deny the right of the “Other” to exist.

You are the pestilence that must be removed from the Human equation.  I see Shiva Nataraga dancing on the edge of the Abyss with one foot upon the neck of Ignorance.  Shiva that seeks to remove hatred so that the World can change for the better. My goal in Life is to emulate that vision and create a better World.

I fight to insure that ignorance is pushed into the Abyss.

‘Tis a lofty goal, and maybe unattainable, but at least I am facing forward and wishing for a better scenario. You Wingnut fucks just wish to hide in the Past and refuse to move forward.

So take my words and twist them to make me the “enemy”. I revel in that. And at the end of all Time I will be feted and you will find the pit of Hell where you belong.

Have a good day Wingnuts, there aren’t many left for your kind.

May 1, 2010

Good Bye Mayor Na’Goon.

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 10:36 pm

C. Ray Nagin’s “Good Riddance” Celebration!!!.

Where- Starlight By The Park 834 N Rampart St. at Dumaine.   561-8939

What- Pot Luck dinner and cheer

Time- May 3rd at 4 PM

Let’s celebrate the leaving of the buffoon ex-Mayor Na’Goon from City Hall and welcome Mitch Landrieu as our new Mayor. (Things just got to get better here now)

April 12, 2010

More of the Hate

Filed under: Federal Flood,New Orleans,Racism — Morwen Madrigal @ 5:57 am

More about the vigilantes who ran roughshod over folk after the Federal Flood in Algiers.

I have no words for what I’m feeling right now. No way to quiet the screaming of my soul over shit like this.

April 11, 2010

Don’t stop me now…

Filed under: American Culture,LGBT,New Orleans,Religious Reich — Morwen Madrigal @ 3:15 am

Ahhh… the fuckmooks of the Southern Republican Leadership Conference are leaving New Orleans (or in the brothels or dragging their sorry asses along Bourbon Street trying to get laid) tonight. Good deal, the air will be much cleaner once they are gone.

Yes they held their conference here in the very city that they wanted to let die after the Federal Flood in ’05.  It’s just their way of fucking (in a different sense) us over again. I got shoved to the side by two rotund Repugs insisting that the sidewalk belonged only to them in the Quarter (and me walking with a cane).  A blind man fared worse.  They stared harshly at the very folk that are trying to rebuild our city with very little help. People who are just hoping to get lives back to a sane level.

These assholes are the ones who will drop $10K for a dinner with Piyush Jindal, the worm of a Guv’nor for the Gret Stet of Looziana, but never think of what $10K might mean to to a food bank here.

I may just be a crazy witch, but I follow the teachings of a man called Jesus much more then they can ever do.  I give a shit about the World more than I do my “portfolio”.  I’M HUMAN.

And then I see on the local news that some punk-ass fucks went on a shooting spree after a beef from Mardi Gras in the Quarter. Is there any impulse control of this subset of the population? Innocent people were shot (but it’s okay since the wounds are not lethal).  I was there yesterday hobbling along with my cane. Should I, or anyone else, be a victim of their childish, less than Human, squabbles?

The problem is that if we, the citizens of New Orleans, supported a campaign to eradicate this plague, the Black Ministerial Alliance would go bat-shit insane.  They will come at us and accuse us of waging war against their “people”. (Sorry folks… we don’t carry guns to use in order to settle a “beef”). If you want to prove male superiority, do it in a backyard with your fists if you must. Leave the rest of us out of your bull shit.

And then fucking Mike Huckabee raises his hoary head about the fitness of LGBT folks concerning raising children. This absolute fucktard has defamed us for far too long. I would be a great parent for a kid because I live by Human principles, not the insanity of their religion or politics. I have compassion, a trait I see sadly lacking in their lives. I look to the Future whilst the bulk of them look back to “Leave It To Beaver”.  I “see” what can be. They cannot.

I guess that’s the difference of evolution of a soul. Try it some time assholes.

March 19, 2010

“Hate the music. Hate the food. Hate the city. What the fuck are you doin’ down here?”

Maitri has a Blog up concerning the new HBO series “Treme”. I am definitely going to watch it. You should too because it tells much of the truth about what happen to New Orleans post-Flood.

John Goodman is a great representation of our Late Great Ashley Morris, a Blogger for the city back then. I think he will pull this one off.

February 19, 2010

Second Line For the “Aints” Tomorrow.

Filed under: New Orleans — Tags: , — Morwen Madrigal @ 9:34 pm

It’s been a long time coming-


February 9, 2010

It Sux When One Is Surrounded By Wonders and You are Cursed

Filed under: Aside,New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 7:06 pm

Sunday the 31st Betts and I went to the skating rink.  Had our new skates that were meant for action and finesse… was going to be fun.  Turned out that the rink was way too slick for my wheels, so I just sat and watched Betts do her thing. He was having fun and getting her old skills back.  It was also Family Night, and since I hadn’t skated for 40 years I didn’t want to risk getting whiped out by kids zooming around whilst getting used to breaking in professional skates. (I was expecting a wooden rink, not a polished paint slab type).

We were about to leave some I headed to the ladies room hittting apiece of pizza lating in some til.Up in the air I went landing on my left hip.  Blinding pain ensued and I couldn’t stand up. Leg was fine but it was if there was no support for my body.  I was wheelchaired to the car and we headed back to New Orleans and home.

Halfway across the River I told Betts to take me to Tulane’s ER. I had a bad feeling that something major was wrong. Two hours later the verdict was I: I had two breaks in my hip bone. Surgery went down in the morning .A  plate and three screws were holding it all together just below the part of the femur that fits into the pelvic socket. They said all looked good and they helped me go back to sleep.

Sometime afterward they changed my medications, ones that I had told them my my body reacted badly to. When I woke up treatment continued, but the chages weren’t told to me.  My body started going hatwire and my mind turned into mush. I looked healthy when I entered the place but was turning into a zombie. That’ when Betts stepped in and forced them to change the meds back to what was originally agreed upon. Two days later I started to get back to normal. What should have been a three day stay turned into an eight day Hell.

I missed the Mayoral elections, Missed the build-up to the Super Bowl, but did come around enough to what our Saints win the  game. The next day Betts got me out of there when we learned they were thinking of shipping me to Houston for Rehab. In those last two days I learned to use a walker properly allby myself. Figured out how to do Life things differently in order to function. I got home last night tired, but relieved..

I missed all the fun and joy of what turned out to be three of the best days our city has had since the Flood just because someone over-rode my knowledge of my body and my history of medication use.  I know things happened, but I was outside looking in. Physically I couldn’t have been a part of the fun, but I was also prevented from emotionally enjoying any of it.  The former is understandable, the latter is unforgivable.

The body will heal in time.  My mind will slowly come out of the fog s. The denial of the joy of it all will never heal.

January 5, 2010

So What I Am Is Evil?

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 8:24 pm

Just got some hate male from a little fuck that thinks people like me should be destroyed.

Y’all been trying that for 53 years, and all I can say is that I still hold the winning score. You cannot beat me.  I live the Life I was given, and though it’s been rough, I still live and breathe.

Why do you and yours’ hate me and mine? Is it because we have the capability to overcome adversity and have a real life? Or are you upset that we can create lives and be ourselves?

You want to threaten me, come face-to-face baby. Look on the face iof Hell and get ready to experience the Abyss. I”ve done it before and I’ll do it again. No one hurts my tribe.

I’m doing this and leaving you un-named. If you wish to hurt me you have to do it in person and not be un-named online.  Come and approach me in person, and you had better be armed.

I use ancient weapons, but I can still carve you up like a Thanksgiving turkey.

It’s your turn fuckmook… wanna face the Bitch From Hell? (or do you wish to face my partner?)

Why Do The Evangelicals Hate Us?

Filed under: New Orleans — Morwen Madrigal @ 5:31 pm

I’m an Intersexed person- I have all the “boy & girl” parts. One could say that I’m an evolutionary advancement over “normal” people. I was born with the ability to be either Gender, but my brain was wired as Female.

I turned down Mensa and 4 Sigma because they just played mental games. On certain tests I show a 200+ IQ and the military rated me as the top 100th of 1 percentile of the Human Race. There are few topics I can’t discuss, like Pop Culture. I’m an engineer in many fields. I’m a Historian and a scholar on Cultural mythology and traditions. I have been half-way around the World twice and have lived with several Cultures. I’m a surfer, mountain climber & have sailed thousands of miles alone. The one thing I’m not good at is medicine.

BTW- I’ve never been to college… I taught myself because I wish to know things.

I’m taking this tack because many of my Trans friends are engineers. They work for Raytheon & Northrop… one works for Rolls-Royce designing new forms of engines. Many others have served this country in the military and have been very successful. We are “wired”, so to speak, to succeed.

We are the “Other”, but that’s no reason for the Evangelicals to hate us.

I happen to believe that they hate us because we are better. Maybe it’s biology or the fact that we have to struggle all of our lives being different… who knows. But we are different from them.

We have to learn about ourselves… to understand and accept what we have been given as a Life. We don’t need a book to teach us “how” to live. (Not a diss on Jesus… I hold Him highly in my Spirit as do I the Lady) We don’t have to be told how to live… we just do it.

Many of you don’t realize that most of us Trans folk never live over 30 years. It’s a hard World out there and freaks like the Evangelicals make it very hard on us. I’m going to be 53 soon, and enter my 26th year of HIV… and live as a Transgendered person. I’d like to see those “People of the Book” pull that off.  I’d like to see them walk a mile in my pumps. I’d like them to go through the Hell I’ve lived with since I was “assigned” back in ’57. They should go throught the hatred and pain that has been directed at me and mine.

Most of them could never have made it. It takes Heart & Spirit , not the words of those who really have never lived Life.

It is about strength of will and love of being around good souls. To live a life I’ve been given. To accept what I am.

This is why I dislike the Bible-thumping crowd- they hate us. We are put down every day as “Ungodly creatures”. They are furious that Amanda was picked for the tech job for the Government. She, not one of “them”, was the best choice.

This is why I fight… the tribes I belong to are comprised of good and wonderful people. The only danger we present to the current paradigm is that we can create a kindlier, more gentle World. A World that doesn’t seek only differences, but understands that we really are just the same. A World that sees all Life as Sacred.

This what the Lady wishes me to do, and I will fulfill the mission.

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