Gentilly Girl- a part of the 99%

June 9, 2008

Need Your Help- Part Three

Filed under: Inter/Trans-Sexed,LGBT,My Community,Trans-Feminist — Morwen Madrigal @ 3:07 pm

I started screaming about this a month ago-

If you are concerned about the direction the DSM V is moving in, please sign this petition if you haven’t already.

Thank ya’s kindly Darlin’s!

May 16, 2008

Same Genitals Marriage?

On Thursday morning the California State Supreme Court struck down current laws concerning same-sex marriage. Now the fuckmooks who are so very opposed to people not like them having equal rights are pledging to fight against the decisions of the Court. They desire a popular vote instead of the rule of law to determine who has what Rights. Fuck them…

Here is the ONLY proper definition of Individual Rights:

“Individual rights are not subject to a public vote; a majority has no right to vote away the rights of a minority; the political function of rights is precisely to protect minorities from oppression by majorities (and the smallest minority on earth is the individual).” Ayn Rand

Sounds strange for a Progressive Trans-Lesbian Feminist to quote Rand ‘eh? (She got some things right about Democracy) We all come into this incarnation as individuals. It is only later that many of us are assimulated into the Hive Mind of the Borg (and the Borg comes in many types of groupings). This basically amounts to the killing of our most precious gift in this life: our Being.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when all of us must work with others for many of the needs of living and culture. As Spock puts it in Star Trek III, “Sometimes the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”, but this does not mean ending the basic natures of the participants.

I’m a Gender-variant person, but that didn’t mean that Society couldn’t use my mind and abilities in working for the General Good. I’ve been an engineer, mechanic, teacher, cook and a decent person. I have sat with the dying in hospices and hospitals in order to salve their pains and fears. I have done what any upstanding member of a culture should do, but my right to my own Being is constantly under attack by the “Borg”. We are not beasts of burden or slaves to the prevailing societal mores. All of us have the right to be ourselves, just as Nature gave us, working together without having our lights being extinguished by bigotry and hypocrisy fueled by “mythologies” that cannot relate to Life in the 21st Century.

It doesn’t matter if one is Hetero or Homo or Trans… same goes for brown, black, white or purple folks. You can be short or tall, or have different eye colors… FUCK! this holds true even if one is a box turtle. All of us are who we are, and what we are not, and no power in the ‘Verse can take that away from even a single one of us. These are our birth-rights for being here at this point in time and space.

There is a meaning in each and everyone of our lives, whether it’s from God, the Goddess, the One or Nature. To DENY these things is tyranny and and a form of soul death. The “Borg” don’t really get this: they are destroying their own Souls by trying to recreate all folks into their “vision”. As always, we shall be judged by our works.

I’m going to close this out with a portion of the Wiccan Rede (my right-less partner and I have things to attend to for our lives):

“And do what you Will be the challenge, so be it Love that harms none.” Doreen Valiente

My name is Morwen, and I’m a Human Being. Are you?
“Greater than scene…is situation. Greater than situation is implication. Greater than all of these is a single, entire human being, who will never be confined in any frame” Eudora Welty

April 15, 2008

They Stole My Vagina, and How I Found It

Filed under: Inter/Trans-Sexed,Trans-Feminist,V-Day — Tags: , , — Morwen Madrigal @ 2:52 am

At the risk of getting screamed at and having the Polizi drag me to Gitmo in defense of their twisted fucking culture, here comes my homage to my vagina for V-Day.

I came into this world with a vagina. (And I came out of one too) It was part of my being, the plan… Nature. Bio-chemistry and genetics created a very different creature… one that contained all forms of Humanity. I was just a little collection of protoplasm who had a vagina. Had…

They took it away from me. That little part of my body that was mine by birthright, and they took it away. Why did this happen? Well, my being violated a bullshit Societal concept: I didn’t fit the Gender Polarity rules. I had to be “fixed” in order to preserve the status quo. I was a teratology (literally: a monster) that had to be exorcised. Having something resembling a penis and a vagina? Shocking.

So they sewed my vagina shut, and then proceeded to create an extension of my urethra to give me a viable penis. Didn’t matter if I was rendered sterile… I just had to look right and fulfill a role as the first-born male. Maybe I wanted to be a woman, but once again, I didn’t get to make that call.
No one asked me what I wanted to be. I was just a piece of meat to be molded for Society’s shit. Call it a form of Female Genital Mutilation. That little part of me that could allow the creation of new Life was gone. My part in the great Chain of Life was negated. I would never be able to feel myself, my special gift, again. So much Light and love left me.
I couldn’t find my vagina for decades. That which I knew was mine was invisible. I had been “raped” in the most horrible of ways: my “self” was taken away. In time this would prove how close to the edge I felt inside. Trying to live up to expectations brought me to many dangerous situations… all because I had to Be, but my vision was not what others saw. I was looking for my vagina.

After many years of research, I figured I was a Transsexual. Something went wrong hormonally in utero. I had one false start on correcting this, but later would take the plunge into Living. This though was only swapping one role in Life for another. My freakin’ life was nothing but a vast stage, an act, a sham. I was still looking for my vagina.

Look at it this way: I gave up family and friends in order to take this “other path”. That’s what the psyches told us years ago. We had to be created again. We were convinced to start living a lie. It was, supposedly, the only way to find ourselves. We had to kill our pasts. This is a terrible road to walk down… half of my tribe will not live past the age of thirty. It’s a lonely walk.

Been there and done it, but I still couldn’t find my vagina.

Since ’01 I have been living a life that is closer to what I am. I have been vocal about who I am and what I am not. Living a lie would not end the pain I have lived with for an entire life. My life has meaning, and I am that meaning even though I couldn’t find my vagina. To know thyself is everything. Actually, it’s the only important thing in Life. From that point all flows. It’s the epiphany that all of us must come to in our lives. It is the end game.

Even with the above thoughts I was still in turmoil. My vagina was missing and I had no way to create new life. My purpose in this life was stymied. I continued to mourn over my missing vagina. I was not complete, even though I have a wonderful life partner, many fantastic people in my life and own a house in my most beloved New Orleans. I have the American Dream, but something was still “not there”.

Three days after the Federal Flood of New Orleans, I found my vagina, my little friend that was always with me in spirit, but not visible to me. One of my aunts told me the truth: I came into this life as both, everything… I am all, and that was taken away because of Patriarchal fuckmooks and their putrid shit mores. My vagina is still between my thighs. It may be only marked by the scar of my mutilation, my violation, but it’s still there. My vagina talks to me, reminds me of what I’m supposed to be doing in this incarnation.

I can’t cry over the Past anymore. It’s water under the bridge, and I found my little friend and in doing so, I found my life. My life is finally real. There can be no other form of living.

I rub my little friend, my vagina from time to time. I feel her inside of me, right to the centre of my being. Life courses through my body as it was meant to do. The vibrations of these feelings touch every part of my soul. I have come full circle, and it freakin’ feels good.

And in closing this out, though I may not be able to physically give life now, I can do so in other ways. I am a friend, a confidant… the fighter from Hades. I am a “Mother”. Helping folks realize their selves is a form of birth, and I can do that.

But I couldn’t do that without my vagina.

During the writing of this PhDaisy turned me onto a quote from Eudora Welty that sums up so much of what I “feel”:

“Greater than scene…is situation. Greater than situation is implication. Greater than all of these is a single, entire human being, who will never be confined in any frame”

March 13, 2008

Sally Kern Redux…

(I told ya’s that I wasn’t going to let this Bitch’s words slide…)

Here are the words of a high school kid in Oklahoma City in response to Kern’s hate diatribe:

Rep Kern:

On April 19, 1995, in Oklahoma City a terrorist detonated a bomb that killed my mother and 167 others. 19 children died that day. Had I not had the chicken pox that day, the body count would’ve likely have included one more. Over 800 other Oklahomans were injured that day and many of those still suffer through their permanent wounds.

That terrorist was neither a homosexual or was he involved in Islam. He was an extremist Christian forcing his views through a body count. He held his beliefs and made those who didn’t live up to them pay with their lives.

As you were not a resident of Oklahoma on that day, it could be explained why you so carelessly chose words saying that the homosexual agenda is worst than terrorism. I can most certainly tell you through my own experience that is not true. I am sure there are many people in your voting district that laid a loved one to death after the terrorist attack on Oklahoma City. I kind of doubt you’ll find one of them that will agree with you.

I was five years old when my mother died. I remember what a beautiful, wise, and remarkable woman she was. I miss her. Your harsh words and misguided beliefs brought me to tears, because you told me that my mother’s killer was a better person than a group of people that are seeking safety and tolerance for themselves.

As someone left motherless and victimized by terrorists, I say to you very clearly you are absolutely wrong.

You represent a district in Oklahoma City and you very coldly express a lack of love, sympathy or understanding for what they’ve been through. Can I ask if you might have chosen wiser words were you a real Oklahoman that was here to share the suffering with Oklahoma City? Might your heart be a bit less cold had you been around to see the small bodies of children being pulled out of rubble and carried away by weeping firemen?

I’ve spent 12 years in Oklahoma public schools and never once have I had anyone try to force a gay agenda on me. I have seen, however, many gay students beat up and there’s never a day in school that has went by when I haven’t heard the word **** slung at someone. I’ve been called gay slurs many times and they hurt and I am not even gay so I can just imagine how a real gay person feels. You were a school teacher and you have seen those things too. How could you care so little about the suffering of some of your students?

Let me tell you the result of your words in my school. Every openly gay and suspected gay in the school were having to walk together Monday for protection. They looked scared. They’ve already experienced enough hate and now your words gave other students even more motivation to sneer at them and call them names. Afterall, you are a teacher and a lawmaker, many young people have taken your words to heart. That happens when you assume a role of responsibility in your community. I seriously think before this week ends that some kids here will be going home bruised and bloody because of what you said.

I wish you could’ve met my mom. Maybe she could’ve guided you in how a real Christian should be acting and speaking.

I have not had a mother for nearly 13 years now and wonder if there were fewer people like you around, people with more love and tolerance in their hearts instead of strife, if my mom would be here to watch me graduate from high school this spring. Now she won’t be there. So I’ll be packing my things and leaving Oklahoma to go to college elsewhere and one day be a writer and I have no intentions to ever return here. I have no doubt that people like you will incite crazy people to build more bombs and kill more people again. I don’t want to be here for that. I just can’t go through that again.

You may just see me as a kid, but let me try to teach you something. The old saying is sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you. Well, your words hurt me. Your words disrespected the memory of my mom. Your words can cause others to pick up sticks and stones and hurt others.

Sincerely,

Tucker”

And here’s our own New Orleanian, Ellen DeGeneres, trying to call Ms Kern.

More to come…

March 11, 2008

Let’s Send Sally Kern Back To the Dustbowl.

Here’s a petition urging the Oklahoma House to impeach Sally Kern for being many things, but just not Human.

A curtsey to Heather for the head’s up.

March 10, 2008

Ms Kern? We Are Coming!

Sally dearie? I have some equipment to show you showing how much we really don’t like Bigots such as yourself in Gov’mental positions:

Here comes the O.W.L. Force-

Commanded By Colonel Betty Ann Davis:

OwlBoat 1 skippered by our Commander Candice Nicole Carter; and

Majorette Morwen niAnne Madrigal’s ride.

Oklahomo here we come!

(BTW- The Church of Our Lady of Gentilly requests donations to help offset our fuel costs. Oil’s up to $107/bbl)

March 9, 2008

What Rock Did Sally Kern Crawl Out From Under?

From Oklahoma comes yet another fucking B/S screed maligning people of the Queer tribe. From Pam’s House Blend comes a good discussion of this homophobic bitch’s viewpoint on her constituants. (and the YouTube piece… )

(And now comes my cunning plan… )
So with this in mind the Church of Our Lady of Gentilly will now sponsor the Queer Consortium. The QC will be our infiltrative arm of the movement to totally subvert the Hyper-Conservative movement and the Religious Reich’s “Hit” Contract on America and Her peoples. The QC cannot allow domestic terrorists such as Sally Kern to destroy our Republic or the freedoms all Americans enjoy. Ridicule, rotten eggs and risque dress are our Three-Rs. There is no battleground on which we will not fight the amoebiac-minded creatures that wish to return our culture to the days of the Dark Ages.

Our ultimate goal is to move all of Humanity into the 21st Century C.E. from the enemy’s roots of the 10th Century B.C.E.. To help Humanity grow up and flower.
Please send your contributions for this noble venture care of my Blog. This will help us provide stylish uniforms, berets, dozens of rotten eggs and the appropriate leather/metal gear our warriors will require. (And of course, a dance track.) We also desire appropriate aircraft (hot-air balloons, helicopters and planes) with which to dump the proper amount of horse dung upon our enemies as the situation requires. (This may require several thousand horses and land to allow us to be properly vigilant and drop on schedule.)
If you value your lives, loves, fetishes and inebriants, please enlist for the Glorious War against the agents of Conservatism and Stone-Age living. Defend the Right of just being who you are and the Golden Rule. Aid us in ushering in the Age of Homo Futuris. (And have a damn good time in doing so.)

Welcome to the New World…

(The Church of Our Lady of Gentilly is a non-denominational Congregation devoted to all that Life can bring. Clothing is optional, but you must check your moralities at the door. Services are by invitation only. All Rights Reserved. In Goddess We Trust. Made in the USA. All Sales Are Final. Organically Grown.)

Update: The YouTube link is here… I’m finally placed something like this on my Blog. Color me shocked.

March 8, 2008

Oh Poop Me… the Quasi-Psyches Are At It Again

Filed under: Trans-Feminist — Tags: — Morwen Madrigal @ 4:56 am

I thought we had dealt with this crap years ago, but once again it raises it’s filthy head.

Here’s my thoughts pre-Flood on the matter.

February 29, 2008

Finally, I’ve Heard What I’ve Been Waiting…

to hear.

From the Bilerico Project comes this letter from Sen. Obama on LGBT issues.

This is not the time to make comments outside of me saying that I am pleased by his statements. Doesn’t mean shit will actually happen, but at least Barack put it in print. (Like Hill could do something like this? Remember “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”?) Obama actually mentioned Trans folks and Gender Identity…. *Damn!* Is that a Log Cabin Repug falling apart?

Oh yes baby… that was better than sex.

February 18, 2008

Lives Lost to Ignorance/Confusion

Filed under: LGBT,Trans-Feminist — Tags: , — Morwen Madrigal @ 11:21 pm

Last week a 15-year old was murdered by a 14-year old in Oxnard, CA.. All of this was because the kid sometimes wore make-up, high heels and nail polish to school. The murderer is described as having a slight build and looking effeminate.

I wanted to write about this last week, but the tale brought up many issues from my Past… my teen years. Last night Betts and I talked for hours about that era in our lives, and finally I can start on this topic.

My teen years were a living Hell in SW Alabama. It didn’t help that my father was a Labor leader or that I had been raised to have my own viewpoint by my parents. Mom had just died, and my sibs and I had just spent the Summer in Houston with the aunts, uncles and our cousins being part of the South’s “Summer of Love”.

My hair was growing to my waist, puberty was hitting… I was one confused kid, ovaries and testicles operating, and my body looked femme (no boobs though). I was into music, literature, math, physics and history. I was a Gentle Freak who tutored kids, helped them along and worked full time as a fast-food manager. I bought my own car, paid room and board and lived an individual life. I was also scared shitless over anyone finding out about my other life.

I had been a school Quarterback: third string brought in for the first game of the season because the starter and the back-up were wiped out. I won the first three games of the season, and then quit because my body wasn’t large enough to face the defensive lines. (Dad insisted that I play sports, but he was the one that signed the paperwork to assign me as “male”.) That was never forgotten by the rednecks. I was also the Class Valedictorian.
Every month, I would carve out 3 or 4 days in which I didn’t have to show for work and no performances for our jazz-rock band. I’d pack and head to Panama City for a “Chelsea” weekend (my nom de plume back then). I’d book a hotel and just spend those days wandering around the place and just being myself. (Same as the Navy years later, but the location was Monterey)

The girl lived at least for a time every month.
Each and every day I had to live with oppression: it wasn’t about being “Gay”, but about being “Different”. The only reason I didn’t get bashed is because my mind and mouth were faster then that of the ogres that wanted to beat me to a pulp. I counted on others to speak out in support of me as friends.

And being beaten is a Hell-of-a-lot better than being executed, but it still wasn’t high on my list for life experiences.

Though my soul screams in pain for the slain 15 year old, my heart also aches for the effeminate boy who pulled the trigger. It’s obvious that Societal pressures created this action. Maybe he couldn’t deal with what is going on inside his psyche. Maybe he is Straight, but his appearance opened him up to all kinds of hassles over mis-identification. I don’t know.

Our Culture MUST GET OVER THIS CRAP! There are Gay boys, Lesbians, Trans folk and Queers. There are also Christians, Jews, Muslims, Pagans and atheists. There are men and women. Folks come in every shape, form and fashions. Same goes for skin color. We are all Human, and that’s the way it freakin’ is.

A young boy is facing many years in prison for a murder that came out of his conflicted sense of self (my interpretation), and another kid is dead. What a fucking damned waste.

When will we learn, and then just live?

What does it take to achieve a Human Culture?

My answer is to live and let live.

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