Gentilly Girl- a part of the 99%

Last week a 15-year old was murdered by a 14-year old in Oxnard, CA.. All of this was because the kid sometimes wore make-up, high heels and nail polish to school. The murderer is described as having a slight build and looking effeminate.

I wanted to write about this last week, but the tale brought up many issues from my Past… my teen years. Last night Betts and I talked for hours about that era in our lives, and finally I can start on this topic.

My teen years were a living Hell in SW Alabama. It didn’t help that my father was a Labor leader or that I had been raised to have my own viewpoint by my parents. Mom had just died, and my sibs and I had just spent the Summer in Houston with the aunts, uncles and our cousins being part of the South’s “Summer of Love”.

My hair was growing to my waist, puberty was hitting… I was one confused kid, ovaries and testicles operating, and my body looked femme (no boobs though). I was into music, literature, math, physics and history. I was a Gentle Freak who tutored kids, helped them along and worked full time as a fast-food manager. I bought my own car, paid room and board and lived an individual life. I was also scared shitless over anyone finding out about my other life.

I had been a school Quarterback: third string brought in for the first game of the season because the starter and the back-up were wiped out. I won the first three games of the season, and then quit because my body wasn’t large enough to face the defensive lines. (Dad insisted that I play sports, but he was the one that signed the paperwork to assign me as “male”.) That was never forgotten by the rednecks. I was also the Class Valedictorian.
Every month, I would carve out 3 or 4 days in which I didn’t have to show for work and no performances for our jazz-rock band. I’d pack and head to Panama City for a “Chelsea” weekend (my nom de plume back then). I’d book a hotel and just spend those days wandering around the place and just being myself. (Same as the Navy years later, but the location was Monterey)

The girl lived at least for a time every month.
Each and every day I had to live with oppression: it wasn’t about being “Gay”, but about being “Different”. The only reason I didn’t get bashed is because my mind and mouth were faster then that of the ogres that wanted to beat me to a pulp. I counted on others to speak out in support of me as friends.

And being beaten is a Hell-of-a-lot better than being executed, but it still wasn’t high on my list for life experiences.

Though my soul screams in pain for the slain 15 year old, my heart also aches for the effeminate boy who pulled the trigger. It’s obvious that Societal pressures created this action. Maybe he couldn’t deal with what is going on inside his psyche. Maybe he is Straight, but his appearance opened him up to all kinds of hassles over mis-identification. I don’t know.

Our Culture MUST GET OVER THIS CRAP! There are Gay boys, Lesbians, Trans folk and Queers. There are also Christians, Jews, Muslims, Pagans and atheists. There are men and women. Folks come in every shape, form and fashions. Same goes for skin color. We are all Human, and that’s the way it freakin’ is.

A young boy is facing many years in prison for a murder that came out of his conflicted sense of self (my interpretation), and another kid is dead. What a fucking damned waste.

When will we learn, and then just live?

What does it take to achieve a Human Culture?

My answer is to live and let live.

Dear Sir or Ma’am,

I writing this because I’m part of a community, and an activist for, those who are continually forgotten or legislated against in this country. This community is called Transgendered. Yes, those of us who have Gender Identities that don’t match our Birth records.

I’m doing this because I am one example of the most extreme versions of this community: I was born with all of the parts. I have ovaries, a uterus, a sewn-up vagina, and a man-made penis. My “role” in Life was determined by people that never asked me who I saw myself as. I didn’t get to state my preferences. I got “assigned”.

Now I’m living my life as I should have… as myself and female.
I’m also doing this because I believe the values that our Founders enshrined in our Constitution and the Bill of Rights. I believe each and every citizen of this Country is endowed with Rights to be who and what they are. There is no middle ground on this. These are our rights as Human Beings under our country’s Constitution and our Bill of Rights. This is the gift of the Founders to each and everyone of us. I respect their work greatly. It is why I can wake up everyday… and can know that I live in the greatest country on the planet.

To support my belief in this country and the reasons for our kind of Culture, I gave 9+ tears of my life to the Military. I’m am very skilled in Physics, Chemistry, Fluid Flow Dynamics, Geology, History and Anthropology. I became everything that was asked of us decades ago. We were asked to become the best and the brightest. I lived up to that, not just because I had interests, but because I believed in our Nation. My Homeland asked for this and I felt that I could not ignore the call.
Now, there are two Bills floating through Congress concerning citizens such as myself.

The bills are labeled as ENDA, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. One is H.R. 3685 (covering only the LGB folks), the other is H.R. 3686 which covers us Trans folks. Both of these bills deal only with employment issues. Originally both were covered under H.R. 2015, but certain interests didn’t want my kind in the bill.) Right now, institutionalized discrimination is a hurdle that these bills must pass, but the one that deals with Trans folks has the worst chance of passing.
More is needed: like housing issues, and safety in Public. You see, coming out as Gay or Lesbian involves only who you sleep with. There is no L, G or B on your I.D.s. Unless you announce it to the world, nobody really notices, but for a Trans person, we change our clothing, gender and our names. We must, by the criteria of the Benjamin Standards, live in our chosen gender for at least a year, and that means employment and housing discrimination. During what we call Transition we cannot hide. Every one can see what we are doing, and we get hurt.

That’s the danger for our folk: there are so many people out there that cannot accept our Realities. Religionists curse us, others just think we are freaks or child-molesters. Using the restroom in public can be a horrible adventure. Getting pulled over for a traffic infraction can make things even worse. Much of this boils down to intolerance of the “different”, or a lack of education concerning Biological realities. (More info on the biological situation and history, is here. I’m rewriting my site right now so this will have to suffice.)

Many of my sisters work in the biggest corporations in the country… some work for companies that are involved in National Security, many are engineers and others are in the financial markets. The bulk of us just work “normal” jobs. Our community is valued for it’s intelligence and tenacity. When one has to survive and become under the B/S Societal norms, you’ve got to be the best. (Many of our kind never make their 30th B’Day.)

I have been hurt because of being Trans in the Past, but that hasn’t been the case for several years. I am here in New Orleans, a very tolerant place, and my partner and I own our home. We have good friends, and no they aren’t all LGBT folks. We live up to my statement of years ago; “Prove who we are, and what we are not”. That has earned us respect.

To heal the wound of Gender Identity, we have had to become ourselves, and that means understanding what it means to be Human. Our little tribe is usually kind and thoughtful. We work our tushes off to just BE in the face of ignorance-based discrimination. It’s all that we can do.

In summary, what I’m asking you for is to come to an understanding of Trans folk, and maybe let your Congresspeople know that we do need protections against prejudice and hate. To speak out when some people condemn us. To not be afraid of us. “Only Humans cry… only Humans sing and laugh and bleed and dream”. That’s exactly what my tribe does.

We are not a threat, but we are being threatened. Please think about this. It’s the Human thing to do.

Be Blessed!

Morwen Madrigal,
The GentillyGirl