I was just looking back on the post I wrote about First Draft’s kind words about us, then I hopped over to some of my favorite bloggers for some inspiration and memory jogging. I have to do this: there’s way too much going on in the city, and then there is nothing whatsoever happening.
Then it hit me: how the freakin’ Hell can this life here continue? What’s the damn point? I started crying. (been doing that alot.) My body began to shake.
It’s just that everything seems impossible, and I know it ain’t true. Just feels like that. I guess there’s a not so small bout of personal self pity hitting. Fear is in the mix too. And then anger starts to rise. Vox clamantis en Deserto…
Looking out my front door calms most of this down. I see a roofing job finished across the street. The folks next door are sheathing their place. Our landlord got a washing machine yesterday. One of the Faeries gave me a portable closet yesterday that i have to find room for here. Our cats are bouncing off their cat tree. A smile comes.
All of us along the Coast are going through episodes like this, whether they know it or not. Some have been able to start getting their lives back into order… most can’t even begin yet. We feel forgotten, not by this country, but by that which is supposed to help us get the job done down here. It’s the Katrina Slog. The real Katrina Fatigue. They are slowly breaking so many of us down by bits and pieces. This cannot stand.
For those of you Gentle Readers who peruse my little blog, you know I am battling very serious health concerns, have been for decades. I wonder how long I can stay healthy with the strain of living like this. I worry about others who are in worse health situations, like friends that are already dying slow deaths from HIV and cancer. (Fundraiser for one of them this Sunday.) Like the old man I helped a few weeks back getting onto a bus. Is he still alive? Did he ever find a place to live? What about the little girl who broke her arm?
In my prayers to the Lady I try to remember them, but all I can actually do is ask for help, love, and protection for all along the Coast. There’s too many hurt folks. Great Mother Goddess! Sweet Joan d’Arc! We all need you now. This city needs you.
We all need each other to survive this whole thing.
Now I’m feeling better… just had to state what is our reality, my truth. It’s very painful living on the Coast or in exile these almost ten months. Good things are coming, but we must wait upon fools that have reasons unlike ours. They want power, money… we want our lives back. Fucking carpetbaggers! How dare you stand in the way of New Orleans’ reparations and Her continued existence?
Get the Hell out of our way! Sinn Fein you slimy assholes! Thieves and liars…
It’s starting to look like the Summer of OUR Discontent, and you impediments to our lives and homes will pay the price. So Mote It Be.
I understand completely. There are moments where I’m not sure things are ever really going to get back to the way they were before Katrina. But after a good cry or a long nap, I start to feel better. Maybe after you’ve cried or slept your way through these bouts of sadness, it’s easier to look at things a little more optimistically, if only until the next time you start to believe things aren’t going to change.
I’ll keep you and your friends in my thoughts.
Comment by T. — June 23, 2006 @ 7:42 pm
Thanks for the mention on your post! It’s good that we all have each other, even if it’s only in the virtual sense. Maybe it’s a Misery Loves Company thing, but just knowing that there are other people out there who understand because they share this bizarre reality, helps.
Comment by Lisa — June 24, 2006 @ 8:06 pm
You have a great blog. I like your honesty and spunk. There’s a lot of people North of NO that are pulling for ya’ and your city. Keep on pushin’. You have courage. Don’t let the shit heads get you down. Take your city back.
Comment by Marco — June 25, 2006 @ 9:31 am