Alright, I survived Mardi Gras, and of course I didn’t have ashes rubbed into my forehead today. (Like any priest would bless me.) All through the day I kept feeling as if the Siamese was around me. It’s hard to lose a friend that meant so much.
Today some jerk sent me a weird email… seemed to hate me and my being, called me a bitch, and my answer was, “You have to grow where you are planted”. (“War For the Oaks”)
I have grown in the swampy soil of SE Looziana. My people have been here for over three centuries. I gave up everything, and gained even more by coming home. I have my Betty, and the damn catz… a home that is still not repaired, but I have friends here. Last night we were shown that we are treasured. We count.
What more can you ask for in Life?
I went through this back in ’02 when I moved back home: “You must prove yourself”. I think I’ve done more than that through the years. Yes, I can get screwed, but that’s the price of playing this strange game, but I will not back away from that stance. As mom said long ago, “Make your presence known”. I’ve done it.
My mother was a smart woman. She taught me restraint and planning. She also taught me how to plot a course.
Tonight I’m taking a break. (Have two things I’d like to hammer on.) I need to feed the catz, take out the garbage, and maybe give Betts a backrub.
Tomorrow is another day, and I’m going to be hammer and tongs on the pertinent issues, but tonight I will just go to sleep. I need to pet my babies, and Betts, and pick up Opal’s urn tomorrow. Being centered is primary right now.
Tonight I wish to crawl between the sheets, our blankies on top of us. The catz will be sleeping around us. (and hopefully Betts won’t be laying on top of me.) I wish to sleep and dream, and I haven’t really been able to do either for over 29 months since the Flood. I really need to have dreams. Peace is what I crave.
And BTW- for Lent, I gave up tolerance, just as I have for decades. I am a creature of habit. *grins*