Yesterday I wrote about Harvey Milk and the value of his words in reference to California’s Proposition 8 that was passed by a slim margin. Basically this was a way for the Christian Right, along with the Mormons, to skirt around a State Supreme Court ruling that the LGBT community had rights. I was remembering my efforts when we defeated Prop 6 in Cali thirty years ago.
Then Editilla left a comment on that post-
“And you were there. Why am I not surprised. I am not surprised. Goddess takes care of fools and errant troubadours thank you very much, so why not a warrior princess of the long run?
Thanks you so much for such a wonderful confirmation of the reality of change… it being in such short shrift these days.
I mean, not just in this great post… but in you, your bad ass self.”
It got me to thinking… why the Hell do I seem to be in the nexus of certain conflicts? All I have ever wanted was peace and quiet and the ability to tend my own garden. To just be Morwen cooking and planting things. To just be myself.
I decide to come out and return to my beloved New Orleans only to have the Federal Flood wreck our home. To be in exile. To have to deal with carpetbaggers for almost three years. To help create a neighborhood association that is actually starting to assert itself. To hook up with folks that I never could have dreamed of meeting, much less becoming friends with.
I’d like to credit Spirituality, but it’s more than that. I wound up in so many scenarios that no one would have envisioned for a kid from the Gulf Coast. Yes I am intelligent. Yes I’m a good researcher. Yes I have been in certain places at certain times to witness/experience many things.
I can’t explain why this has been my reality. I never sought this.
Truth be known- I’d rather be digging dirt for my gardens, petting my cats, giving my Betty backrubs, cooking food for my friends rather than being the bitch I have been forced to be. I wanted to be mellow, but our current World cannot accomadate mellow folks. It requires fighters.
Years ago I stated that I was no longer a warrior… I just wanted to be a healer and teacher. Well that went right down the drainpipe. All I wanted was to hug my Honey, kiss my friends and shoot pool. That’s all.
It ain’t happening, and I’m not getting younger. I’m getting tired. I’m terminally ill. (Yes, I was supposed to die back in ’95, but I’m a stubborn bitch) , and I have had to wear the mantle of warrior again. Things I believe in must be defended.
This is all about conviction of the heart. One can be anywhere and see injustice. One can always fight like Hell to correct those things. It’s about whether you actually take on the enemy. I believe in taking on the enemy.
I keep hearing the Byrds, “Turn, turn, turn”.
Yes I am tired, but I am not dead, and yes I will continue to fight. That’s called “Conviction of the Heart”.
And I will continue. There is no other path to walk.